Kristen asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 decade ago

Not announcing your grandparents at you wedding. Disrespectful and rude?

So here's my problem.

My wedding is Saturday, the 16th of this month, and right now everything is down to the wire. I have grandparents flying from another state to come to my wedding. They are staying with my father and step-mother.

My fiance has a step-grandmother, who he has known since he was born, and his biological grandmother. Their husbands, the grandmothers, all passed away. (This is from his mother's side. His mother passed away when he little FYI) His grandmother and grandfather from his father's side passed away as well. So he has his two grandmothers, and he's really only close to the step-grandmother. He said to make things simple not to announce the grandparents, which I was okay with.

My step-mom, however, said that the grandparents should be announced, and since my grandparents are coming from out of state it would be disrespectful and rude if they weren't announced.(I asked her about it) She then ends it with, "it's your wedding and you can do whatever you want. I'm just adding my two cents."

It's complicated, and she said that the grandparents should get corsages and bootaners. I already ordered the flowers and I did not order and flowers for them. (Kinda late now)

I'm not sure what I should do. Should my fiance's grandparents be announced by themselves? They won't have an escort like my grandmother, since the step grandmother won't have any other family besides my fiance, and the other grandmother can't walk very well. I know it's MY wedding, and I see my grandmother once every other year, and I've seen my grandfather a total of three times. (I am 24) I don't know them as well, but I get along great with my grandmother. How can I be happy and make everyone else happy as well?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Don't have them march in. They can sit at their seats, the DJ can announce their names, and they can give a little wave and that's it.

    However, it's not rude to not announce them. At most weddings I've attended, only the bridal party and the parents are announced.

    Or just skip announcements entirely. Or just have you and your husband announced. Your guests **really** aren't going to give two craps who your attendants and relatives are, if they don't already know them personally.

  • 1 decade ago

    I've never heard of people "announcing" grandparents at a wedding, so I'm really not sure what your step-mother is talking about. I certainly don't think its disrespectful or rude. If she means that they are introduced at the reception by the DJ or whatever, just don't announce any grandparents. Whatever you do for your grandmothers you need to do for his, so if he doesn't want his announced, don't announce yours, or either announce all of them.

    I have seen grandmothers get corsages at weddings and it's a nice gesture, I think. Surely your florist can make up 4 corsages between now and Saturday. If your florist won't, go to another florist. You could even get corsages at the grocery store in a pinch.

    Best wishes on your marriage!

  • 1 decade ago

    No one does any of this anymore. I made corsages for the grandmothers just because I was hand-making everything and I thought they would like it, but it's not required and I'm not doing anything for the grandfathers. We are not announcing any of them. I have been IN weddings, been TO weddings, and the last time I heard grandparents announced was in 1993.

    Don't worry about it, it's too late now and it's an outdated thing. Maybe have the DJ announce the gifting of the centerpieces (one per grand-couple) to them individually if you really want to try and fix it, but honestly I don't think any changes on your part are necessary.

    Good luck!

  • You can at least get the ladies corsages...and you should. Many grocery stores have in store floral depts that can whip up two corsages for you in no time....they do NOT have to match the flowers in the wedding or each other, y'know.....Price Chopper does, so does Kroger's...I am sure there are others....

    It also would be a lovely touch if they ALL were announced....and the grandparent lacking an escort can chose one for herself so she has an arm to walk in on........and no, it's only 'complicated' because you are making it so......to extend this small courtesy to them will cost you nothing in time , energy or money.

    BTW when I first married in 1974, we announced my ex's grandmother..she was thrilled!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Personally, I think "announcing" anyone is dumb. I hate going to weddings and waiting for the bridal party to announced, and applauding like they have done something great...Sorry, it's dumb.

    That being said...I have never been to a wedding where the grandparents, or even the parents were "announced". It is usually just the bridal party only.

    Grandmothers should get corsages and grandparents are seated just before the mothers are escorted in.

    Good Luck!

  • Jilly
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Yeah, I gotta agree that the whole 'announcing' thing doesn't need to be done. It gets too complicated. I will say, however, that flowers are mandatory. I actually forgot to order one for my grandfather so had order an emergency one for my grandfather two days before the ceremony. It's certainly not too late to get one.

  • Blunt
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    That is non-sense.

    Grandparents are not announced at any point at all.

    This is the proper etiquette: Give them both a boutonniere and corsage. Make them walk down the aisle together and give them preferred seating at the ceremony and reception (first two rows). Invite them to the rehearsal dinner and thank them from traveling to attend on your speech.

    That is all you need to do. Tell your MIL to shove as she doesn't know what she is talking about.

  • 4 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Mantain your Relationship Alive http://enle.info/SaveYourMarriage/?CjGh
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