I really need your help. Terrified life in danger etc.?
I'm 16 and I was recently in the hospital five times. I had a major chest wall repair and then my lung keeps collapsing. It's collapsed three times. At first i was kind of joking around saying I was dying (the other people knew i was joking, so i wasnt lying about it) . I only had one friend come and see me in the hospital all of the times I was there. She's two years older than me and she's always really nice to me. For my birthday, she took me out and hung out with me all day bought me lunch and stuff. She used to always call me her little brother, and i got her a good job recently. I've gotta pal in Sacramento (which is across the US from me) and we've been playing games online and talking for the last two years or so. He's in his 20's and he's been treated for lung cancer and it's coming back again. He and I were both hospitalized at the same time. He also can't see ever see his daughter again, and i lost my little brother 2 years ago and i really feel like i can relate to him on a friendly level, but I feel like I know a lot of his pain too. I've got other "friends" but they're so shallow and there's nothing deep between us. These two friends are the only ones I ever can relate too. The guy always asks me how the lung's coming and i ask the same to him. We always check on each other etc. The girl, well, lately she just doesn't seem to really want to hear from me at all.
The thing is, I'm terrified after this. At first it didn't really bother me, but when i was out on a walk tonight (I have to walk to help recover from surgery) a mosquito spraying truck passed me and I got terrified. It was spraying poison and I know that inhalants have a good chance to make my lung collapse again. I was terrified of the lungs collapsing and even if they didn't the poison weakens them more. So I got home as fast as I could. I was scared. I mean that stuff could mean death for me. It didn't really sink in until then. I tried to send her a text so i could talk to her and i haven't heard from her in about a week. But I got nothing. She didn't respond. I know her phone could just be off or something, but this isn't the first time she's blown me off for no reason. I don't know how to tell her that i really need her. I'm really absolutely terrified now that I'm going to die. I've calmed down since I got home, but the fears still there completely. I don't know what to do. I don't want to scare her on one hand, but on the other hand, I don't want her to just blow me off like it's nothing. I really don't know what to tell her at all.
Emotionally, I'm completely lost. The girl was the only one of my friends to come see me at the hospital. The rest of them haven't even asked about me. I told a couple of them i was coming back to school soon and all i got was "oh, cool". The physical stress alone plus spending a total of 34 days in a hospital bed alone has not helped. On one hand, I hate them. They've pretty much abandoned me for no reason at all. The most important time to be with a friend and show them you care is times like this. The pain killers leave me in a state of constantly being furious at anything that moves for no good reason at all. I find huge mood swings from the spontaneous fury to being exhausted to being depressed as hell.
I don't know what to do. I mean I can't avoid cigarettes, paints, aerosols, etc my whole life. I can't freak out like that, but at the same time, it could mean serious damage to my lungs. I really have no idea where to even start or the slightest idea of what to do. The doctors basically told me if I ever smoke or if I ever snort any substance, it will basically mean instadeath for me. But I don't know how much of the other smoke and chemicals in the air my lungs can take before something goes wrong. If anyone has even the vaguest idea of what to do about this or about how to tell my friend, I would really appreciate any advice. Thanks for the help.
- Cheryl RossLv 510 years agoFavourite answer
Your friend could be on vacation or something could have happened to her phone, you really don't know, so you can't know "for sure" that she is avoiding you. Give her the benefit of the doubt & just keep trying to reach her. I realize you do have a serious condition & God does hear our prayers, so remember that when you get all stressed & worried, just breath a little prayer & He DOES hear you. Also, try your best to stay as calm as you can. I realize that may sound like the dumbest statement to you, but when you get all "hyper" & get that adrenalin going it just feeds on your mind & makes things worse. Try to be as calm as you possibly can when you get those "attacks" of terror so to speak. Try not to "feed" it so to speak. None of us know what we could have wrong with our bodies. With you, you know for sure what your situation is. But any one of us could have so many things wrong with us & just are unaware of it/them. You can only avoid so much, & I KNOW you do your very BEST. Just hang in there the best you can & take care of yourself the best you can & KNOW you're doing EVERYTHING in your power to help your condition. You never know if one of these days something will be "discovered" that will ratify your condition & really help heal your body. Technology has come so far, & just keeps getting better all the time. Take GOOD care of yourself, honey.^
- Anonymous10 years ago
You will truly be in my prayers and may god bless you. I think you should tell your friend straight out that u need her to be there for you. It might not be easy but maybe she doesnt really know how much you really need her until you tell her. Instead of texting her just give her a call and explain how important she is to you. Leave her a voicemail if she doesnt answer. Also what if you were to move to place with cleaner air like somewhere with a higher elevation maybe mountains.
- TamaraLv 510 years ago
I really don't know what to tell you.
So you can pretty much die at any moment right? that's crazy and your so young too.
Maybe she doesn't want to see you die, so the best thing she does is stay away.
Have you tried breathing through an oxygen mask/ tank or if your lungs are too weak for that, try walking with mask since your lungs are so weak?
You might wanna be home schooled too, it sucks that this is happening to you.
If you can talk to a school counselor or a therapist, they can help you the most and copping with that you have.
Good luck and stay safe.
- 10 years ago
I seriously prayed for you right now. Good luck and don't worry so much. Everything will be alright with you.