I just wrote this and want someone to help with it. Can you tell me if this is ok?

Love Me Kitten

I found a little kitten, or rather he found me.

It was getting dark so it was hard for me to see.

But, he jumped upon my leg and hung there on my knee.

I picked the little guy up and he curled upon my chest

saying "You are someone I can love because I think you're the best."

Update:

Well, I like simple poetry and I don't mind if it's not prize winning because this really happened. An 8 week old kitten ran up to my sister and I and wanted to be our baby so after naming him, he's solid black with copper eyes, Boobear. we let him adopt us. :D

Update 2:

Thank you Justice. That's what I wanted to know. How would you put there instead?

3 Answers

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  • Favourite answer

    I loved this even though the third "ee" rhyme was done a bit awkwardly. I was half expecting another "ee" rhyme for the next line but the way you changed to "est" was of some interest.

  • 1 decade ago

    Simplistic, even leaning toward childlike, but that's what I like most about it. Is it Pulitzer prize poetry? No, but if true, the effort as well as the rescue was worth the doing.

  • 1 decade ago

    Help?Shmelp! It's great just the way you wrote it! GOOD!

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