Should I feel so bad about throwing my friend's kid out of my house?

My friend has a child with a behavioral disorder. She would bring him over to my house and he would just rip through like Tasmanian Devil, destroying everything in his path. Anyway, she brought him over to my house one particular day. He broke some figurines that were my mother's; he flooded my toilet with... show more My friend has a child with a behavioral disorder. She would bring him over to my house and he would just rip through like Tasmanian Devil, destroying everything in his path. Anyway, she brought him over to my house one particular day. He broke some figurines that were my mother's; he flooded my toilet with toilet paper; he tried ripping the canopy off my baby's bassinet and the whole time I am growing frustrated because I kept running after him, "Evan, no. Don't do that! Leave that alone!" while she just sat there. A few times while he was tearing up my baby's toys, I would look over at her just to see what she was doing, and she'd be sitting there watching him! The straw that broke the camel's back was when he went over to my 4 month old baby, who was sleeping in his swing, and pushed the back of the swing so aggressively I thought my baby would've have flown out of it if he hadn't been buckled in! I lost it. I screamed at him, "Get away from my baby!" and she ran over to her son and put her arms around him, telling me, "He wasn't trying to hurt your baby." I just told her, "He has to go. Please leave NOW." As she was gathering his things to leave, he told her he had to go to the bathroom, but I said no. (I feel most badly about that part, but she took him across the street to the neighbor's so that he could use the bathroom). Since then, she's wanted to come over to see me and the baby, but I always tell her not to bring her son so we don't talk much anymore. I miss her as a friend, but I can't take her son's behavior. I realize it's not his fault, he was diagnosed as having some sort of disorder, but it seems to me she just doesn't try hard enough to keep him under some kind of control. She sits there and watches him misbehave! She used to call me crying and complaining about her sisters. She babysits for them but they refuse to babysit for her and I can't muster any sympathy for her. Her son is 3 and really big for his age. He uses bad words, he's defiant towards her and so destructive! Before anyone tells me to consider if this was my child, I have. I wouldn't take him to my friends' homes if I couldn't control him, and I would definitely do all I could to make him behave or just keep him at home. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Update: Actually, this would be the umpteenth chance I've given them! He has been over to my house many times before this last incident, and each time he's dumped things from my refrigerator, scratched my cherry table with her keys, written on my walls. When I was in labor, she was there and he kept kicking and... show more Actually, this would be the umpteenth chance I've given them! He has been over to my house many times before this last incident, and each time he's dumped things from my refrigerator, scratched my cherry table with her keys, written on my walls. When I was in labor, she was there and he kept kicking and hitting me with her looking on. There's so much more I just don't have the space to include it all! I've been through a lot with them coming over and finally reached my wits end when he pushed my baby in the swing.
Update 2: I guess I forgot to mention that each time they've come over, I was always saying to her, in exasperation, "Will you please get him?" or "Your son is driving me crazy!" After I'd told her I couldn't have him at my house anymore, I'd tried calling, texting and emailing but she... show more I guess I forgot to mention that each time they've come over, I was always saying to her, in exasperation, "Will you please get him?" or "Your son is driving me crazy!" After I'd told her I couldn't have him at my house anymore, I'd tried calling, texting and emailing but she always ignores me, but every once in a while she'll call to ask "You feel like having company? We (she and her son) want to see you guys." So, it's kind of like she doesn't want to be friends unless her son is included. Some of you suggested we go out in public so he can't tear up my things. Ha! He stands on the back of my baby's stroller, he kicks at someone's dog, you get the picture. Yeah, I guess she has to put her son first, but I have always let her know that her son is too much for me to handle.
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