Do all healthy relationships involve arguments sometimes?
Me and my boyfriend have never gotten in a fight before until one day we got really mad at each other over a situation involving jealousy. He thought I was flirting with someone when I wasn't and I was pissed off he didn't trust me. We talked it out and he said he was sorry. Anyway now he seems like he's over it and I'm still hurt about the whole thing. Everyone says arguments are normal in a relationship, but I've never been in a real relationship before him to know what normal ups and downs are like (and I'm 18!) so I'm still feeling upset and stuff because that seemed like a big deal. I don't understand how he can act like it never happened... so how do I get through this like he did? How do you all get over fights in a relationship?
- FrankLv 410 years agoBest answer
Well the occasional argument is inevitable in almost any relationship. You have to remember you are both two different people and sometimes you will have conflicting viewpoints. It is important that you guys fight fair like no name calling or bringing up issues in the past. Small arguments can be good because someone feels comfortable enough telling their partner that something is wrong. If he has gotten over this fight...in all honestly you do as well.
You cannot hold every fight against him for letting you know how he felt about an issue. If he is afraid to tell you how he feels then there will be no fights but he will one day break up with you. You cannot make things better unless you tell your partner what is wrong...I honestly think you just need to get over this. If you cannot handle an argument then marriage will be REALLY hard for you.
- 10 years ago
Everyone has disagreements or arguements (fights). Some more than others. I personally have a pretty solid relationship with my wife of 12 years. We do fight from time to time. Sometimes it even involves some "choice" words.
What you don't want to do is hold grudges. I generally give her about 10 - 30 minutes to vent and get it out of her system. Once we've both calmed down, I'll give her a big huge and tell her I love you. Sometimes it's not that easy. As far as him thinking you are flirting....that's obviously jealousy on his part. There's nothing wrong with being jealous, just as long as it doesn't consume him. Jealousy can eat you alive. I know. I was an extremely jealous person when I was a teenager. As I got older, I grew out of it.
I'm sure he accused you of "flirting" because he felt threatened. Just re-assure him that you are "his" girlfriend and nobody can take you away from him. Let's just hope and pray he's not like I used to be. Very obsessive. That will push most girls away. Only time will tell just how "healthy" your relationship will become. At a young age, my relationships were not healthy, mainly because I was a very jealous person. Looking back now, it seems so silly that I was that way.
- 10 years ago
Its not that hard to get over. You guys have a very healthy relationship because one, you dont argue alot. And two, he apologized and you guys came to an agreement after the argument was over. Thats a healthy argument. An unhealthy argument is yelling and screaming, no apologies, and never resolving things. Since you guys resolved the issue, hes willing to apologize and move on. You're lucky to have a guy like that because most relationship problems never get solved. Just let it go. When he apologized he was basically saying im sorry and ill never suspect you of flirting again because i trust you. If it happens again then you can start to worry. But you're in a good relationship, dont worry about it!
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- ?Lv 410 years ago
He acted like this because he truly loves you and wants you to feel the same way about him. It is true that all relationships have arguments and this often makes them stronger. The fact that he was sorry means that he wasn't really angry at you, he was just angry that he might lose you-think about this and it might help to ease your worry...as the relationship progresses fights won't be so hurtful to you anymore as you will grow with one another
- x Cee xLv 410 years ago
I think its different for girls. I'm the same, when ever my boyfriend has an issue with me and we argue. It takes me longer to forget it and usually if we argue again I tend to bring it up in the new argument lol. I find it hard to let it go, because it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Men always think their right!
- 10 years ago
All relationships have arguments and it is fine. Here is how I would handle it first I would tell myself that what happened was in the past and I don't need to think about it any more then I would talk to my boyfriend and tell him that I love him. That's all you need to do too.
- oldermanLv 710 years ago
Yes it is normal to argue sometimes. It's how you argue that determines the value of your individual
character. Stick to the issue and no hurtful insults.
Love is a struggle at times. Feeling hurt for a while is part of that. A willingness to forgive is critical to any long term commitment.
- Anonymous10 years ago
i think regardless of what kind of relationship it is you will have fights from time to time. simple fact is we are all human. and wether its a friend, parent, co worker, or significant other the more time you spend with each other the more likely you are going to fight. i just mean that it is impossible to be around someone all the time and never get into an argument.
- ChristinaLv 44 years ago
ok what a mess lets clean it up. first here is where you went wrong you have spend four years of your life with this person both of you have no plans now there is a baby. four years is a long time to spend with anyone and not been married. you need to get in school and do something for you and the baby ask your mother to help take care of the baby while you are in school you can do it i did it for now your life will be school work and the baby as for the father have nothing more to do with him walk away and dont look back you dont need him anymore it look like to me he has no plans for his life dont forget to put him on child . good luck