kim h
Lv 7
kim h asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

Do your kids tell you that they hate you?

A friend wrote a quote today on her face book page by Bette Davis. Something about knowing you have been a parent if your kids have ever hated you. Another friend commented that it was so true and her daughter tells her that at least weekly. My oldest will be 20 in July, the other two are 16 and 13 and so far they have been smart enough not to utter those words go me. God help them if they do. Do peoples kids really do this?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    I can remember saying it to my mom when i was younger. When ever she punished me i would say it. I wouldn't ever disrespect my mother or raise a hand to her, she commanded respect. Ever time i said it she would always just say i love you to lol it would make me angrier. Kids dont really mean it when they say it, its just words in the heat of the moment. I love my mother and think she is the best mother in the world and im happy with the way i turned out. Also shes happy with the way i turned out.

    Source(s): My life
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think it is completely normal, and I think it is also normal for the parent's feelings to be hurt when they hear this. What blows my mind is that you make it sound like if your children had said this to you they would have been punished. Why? When you feel angry towards someone and you are having a disagreement you voice your feelings don't you? When you've been angry with someone haven't you ever felt like you hated them, at least in the moment? Your children have feelings too, and they make mistakes just like anyone else. Yes if your child says they hate you, you should respond with, "That's not a nice thing to say. I'm sorry you feel that way because I love you. I am not going to listen to you say those things to me because it is hurting my feelings. When you are ready to come to me and apologize I will be waiting." Then when they do say sorry, accept it and drop it. A "punishment" will not teach them why it's wrong. It will only make them feel that way even more so.

    Most children do say that at one time or another. It is my opinion if your children do not feel this way at some point, you are not really being a parent. Being a real parent means not always being liked. Either you are a push over parent who never lays down the law, or you are so controlling and intimidating your children have been walking on egg shells with you.

    But that is just my opinion.

    Source(s): My degree in early childhood education and child psychology, and 7 years experience in childcare.
  • 4 years ago

    Its talked about as a mood tantrum, you actually desire to face your floor, I did that once i develop into youthful yet my mom nonetheless knew I loved her, yet that develop into in the previous i develop into 14. And from my perspective once you reported he apologized i imagine he's attempting to butter you up, or kiss you butt to get himself off of the hook for what he did very last evening, and be able to use the xbox back. I did that something I beloved might want to be lengthy gone for a minimum of a few days to each and every week, you learn authentic quick to visual show unit what you assert. My mom has continually been fantastic to me, my stepdad on the different hand is a jerk, if I informed him what your son informed you i'd are growing my butt beat no less than. he's yet another difficulty all on my own I nonetheless won't be able to face him to on the on the spot. even although that develop into 10 years in the past.

  • 123
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    oh come on, kids say that! once a week is a ridiculous amount to be saying that but I remember 2 times telling my mom I hated her. I got frustrated with her, we butt heads. I didn't mean it and I love her dearly and she's one of my best friends and I respect her -- but I said it. that's how I felt (I was young, probably 8 or 9 or so). I said I was sorry, because I was, and we moved on.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hmm. I've gotten, "Mommy, I don't like you anymore," once, to which I responded, "I'm sorry to hear that, but you still need to brush your teeth." Other familiar phrases include, "Mom, you're so embarrassing!" and "You don't understand; you're ruining my life!" (that one was over a pair of tennis shoes, I believe)... but I don't think the H word has ever been thrown around.

  • 1 decade ago

    yes they do. not mine but I know kids who tell their parents that and I asked this not too long a go and most people said that its ok, they are just expressing their feelings and they dont really mean it....

    What ever, I think its disrespectful and I sure hope I'll raise my kids better than to disrespect the people who love them most in this world

  • 1 decade ago

    No, my kids have never said that to me. They're teenagers now - oldest is nearly 20 (time flies!).

    I used to say it to my parents though (shame on me) - and the sad thing is I really meant it at the time.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    they only say it to guilt you into giving them what they want, DONT GIVE IN! They dont hate you, they are just upset with you because your telling them no. although, i do know a 25 year old man who honestly hates his mother...but she treated him like crap all his life, neglected and abused him, even stabbed him with a fork, she is bipolar and has split personalities, she is legally psychotic. but i know she is aware of her bad behavior because she told me once "i could kill someone and get away with it, because im legally insane" but to me, if she knows she is insane, then she shouldnt be able to get away with murder...

    i could never hate anyone, not even her. but i sure can despise a person

  • 1 decade ago

    I've never known a kid to not say that! :) They just say it because they're bad they can't get what they want. You just brush it off because the next day they love you again :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I wouldn't allow mine to speak that way, raise them right and they'll know to use manners and respect. Nobody should allow their kids to be hateful and rude.

    I would never in my life have spoke to my Mom like that, I love and respect her and always have.

    There are some things you just shouldn't do, ever, and treat your parents like crap is definitely one of them.

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