Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdolescent · 10 years ago

WHAT is with teens always being/wanting to be in a relationship!?

So I'm 18. Never had a crush. Never had a boyfriend. I like boys. I know that. And IT's NOT that I'm jealous, or wish I had a boyfriend, I just don't get WHY so many people DO. I always have viewed relationships as something when your older, an adult, and ready for it. Why rush into it? I know some people can't help the feelings, but it's strange to me. It's strange why even 12 year olds are getting into relationships. Why? It's not like it's gonna last. But beside that point, why do people want relationships? Isn't friends enough? And I mean, I'm not against relationships, of course not. But it seems strange to me that people so young are crazy in love.

One friend has known this girl for only a few weeks and they already together, snuggling and cuddling and everything. Another person I know is all depressed because he had a major crush on my best friend, only to learn she really isn't interested in him that way. She likes him a lot as a friend, but isn't looking for a boyfriend and can only ever see them as friends. He's like, what, 15/16 and he's all depressed about it. >.> And even though he knows her feelings, he still goes on, like she's the only girl he'll ever love. >.> I MEAN come on.

Love as a teen seems to bring never ending depression. I've lost count of the people who have liked someone, only to have their 'heart broken' and become miserable. One friend crushed on this guy she didn't even know, and was in tears all day when she learned he was with someone else. I don't get it. How can some people fall for someone they don't even know? I'd have to get to know the person before I could like them like that.

I mean, I know I like guys. I know one day I may have a crush. But I want to get to know the guy. I don't like how some people are madly in love when they barely know someone. I've never believed the whole Love at first sight thing. I DO believe in attraction at first sight.

I also hate how someone's crush not liking them ruins peoples lives. How upset they get. I can't imagine being in tears and feeling horrible all the time over some guy. And I don't ever want to be one-sided, I don't want to be crazy over some guy when he really doesn't like me that way, like some people act.

I mean, this guy who's only 16, was telling me how in love with my best friend he is. How he'd wait forever for her answer (before he knew how she felt) and stuff. Going on and on about his love. How old is he!? He's still going on, even though he knows how she feels. He even seems to think he'll change his mind..

I don't know, I don't get it. Probably because it's never happened to me. And before someone says I'm gay, I know my sexuality. I like boys. But I just don't see why having a girlfriend/boyfriend is such a thing for tweens and teens.

Many people say you can't control the feeling. Yet, I've seen plenty of boys at school. Some I thought were cute. But I never gave them a second thought.

I guess I find it kind of.. sad and funny how they'll be going on crazy with love, then be super depressed when the relationship is over or they find out their crush never liked em.

Of course, I like to respect others opinions, so I understand and don't think there's anything wrong with being in a relationship as a teen. It just surprises me how often it occurs. Why it's felt like it's needed. Why people feel this way at all. Some people I notice who have a girl/boyfriend seem to suffer from depression or are looking to be loved. NOT ALWAYS of course, but in my experience with people I know, they always tend to have self-confidence issues. As if they are looking for someone to love them....

Just curious to hear other peoples views on this. xD

14 Answers

  • 10 years ago
    Best answer

    It's just part of growing up and exploring the world around you. Falling in love and feeling the crush of rejection are just two things that make up the whole of the human experience.

    I hope you one day get to feel the same. The good and the bad are important. Falling in love makes you feel like you are on the top of the world. Rejection is hard to take, but when you get over it you will learn that you are stronger for it.

    If you die with out feeling both of these things, you got short changed.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    I agree with a lot of what you said.

    It irks me that some girls (you see them all the time on here, sometimes as young as 14) get SOOO depressed when they find out the boy they have a crush on doesn't like them. I mean, I have had TONS of crushes on boys, starting in like 1st grade. Now, I never had one come up and tell me straight up that he's not into me, but I can see how that would hurt anyone. At the same time though, I barely ever became anything more than classmates or acquaintances with them. But it never brought me to tears or anything even close. I just went on with my life and found other boys to crush on. =P

    And then there's all these girls who think that they will never, ever be loved by anyone because they're 13 and haven't had a first kiss yet. It's ridiculous. I was 18 when I got my first kiss, and apparently, that's something that I'm"supposed" to be all embarrassed over, because it's "normal" to get it at like 12 now. CRAZY! I was 12 only 8 years ago, and I turned down a boy who asked me out, because I was embarrassed at the thought of dating so young. It's like things are the complete opposite now.

    Anyway, I think relationships become okay, and often even good, for older teens. I was 18 and my boyfriend was 16 when we first started dating nearly two years ago. While I'll admit there are some things that have happened as a direct result of our relationship that aren't good, I still love being in it. My boyfriend is my best friend. He makes me feel really special, and helps my self esteem so much. He makes me happy. Yes, my friends do all of that too, but I can't share myself with my friends in the way that I can with my boyfriend. We have a bond that I will never have with anyone who is just a friend. I love my friends, but I'm in love with my boyfriend. We're connected physically as well as emotionally.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    I'm 14, I have had some crushes and 3 boyfriends, but I don't feel the need to be in a relationship constantly. Sometimes relationships can be inspiring (as a songwriter) and just make you feel happy. It's a nice feeling when the thing you really want want's you back. Some times people are dependent on relationships because lack of attention from family. I never set out wanting a relationship and looking for a guy. Usually I just end up meeting a really cool person and wanting to do something more with our relationships. As long as it's not being taken to seriously, I don't see the problem(:

  • 10 years ago

    hi, i'm 18 as well, and i've had maybe one real crush before and no real bfs before.

    and yeah, it is strange that some teens are pretty desperate to be in a relationship. i don't think people think it's needed, i just think that a lot of the younger adolescents think that to be considered a teenager and more mature, that u have to have a partner, and that some of the guys are peer pressured into it.

    but yeah, i don't really get it either. i mean if u wait until ur in uni and a lot more mature, as are the people of the opposite sex, i think it would result in a more fulfilling and longer lasting and tend to be more of a positive experience, than rushing into it as a young teen.

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  • Lisa
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Hello...I am not a teen however I would still like to offer some advice. If you tell her how you feel, the most she can do is tell you how she feels about you. It might be something that you want to hear and it might not be, but still just let her know. If she feels the same way as you, just be like, Well I want you to be my girl! If she doesn't feel the same way, let her know whether or not you could remain her friend. The two of you are probably great friends, but she might not know that you are interested in her. Between you and your male friend that said he would ask her out, you should let him know that you like her and are interested in being her boyfriend. Good luck

  • 10 years ago

    yo. I am on your side. when I was in HS I had one bf..for a few weeks cuz I got tired of him and his bs. he wanted sex and I was not gonna lose it to him. So I dumped him. but my other friends were so concerned with getting a boyfriend "I dont wanna die alone" all that stupidity.

    I blame it on the hormones and self esteem. Is the only thing I can think of.

    I wanted, and is natural, to have a boyfriend. But I was thinking of something more serious which I knew I was not gonna get. And I was not desperate bc my self esteem was not low plus all the people especially guys around me were not worth my time. I am in college now and it is a better environment to find a guy...however not in classes where many freshmen are..the classes that are more in depth are better bc people are more mature there.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    they want to feel love and whats it like and maby their hormones are more crazy and stuff. and sometimes a bf/gf can gve you more than a friend can and make you feel comfortable and safe and loved. and it really does hurt when a guy you have been eye balling doesn't like really stings because then u feel like somethings wrong with you. although i do have to say that i agree how werid all of these "loves" happen my bff always falls for every hot guy she sees i mean she even says love u to them and every thing im just freaked out that she falls so fast. but having crushes and being in love is a wonderful experience

  • 10 years ago

    A lot of teenagers put a lot of importance on being in a relationship because it shows their peers that they're capable of finding a partner and that they're not totally hopeless, while most of these relationships are crap, its just a way of pacifying their fears of peer judgement.

  • 10 years ago

    very with you. im only 13 but lots of people in my school have gf/bf for no reason, i dont find a problem with relationships if they actually love each other but most people my age barely talk to their gfs but they get them just to basicly look cool

  • 10 years ago

    Generally, people just want to feel needed. They want to feel wanted. They like the feeling that there's someone there waiting to see them and misses them.

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