Military wives/Ex-wives help!!!?

My husband and I have been together for 4 years now, married for 1 of them. He's been in the marines for 2 and some years. We used to have an amazing relationship. We used to have so much fun together, but lately, nothing is the same. He came home from Iraq in October, and since then, he just seems so... show more My husband and I have been together for 4 years now, married for 1 of them. He's been in the marines for 2 and some years. We used to have an amazing relationship. We used to have so much fun together, but lately, nothing is the same. He came home from Iraq in October, and since then, he just seems so different. He used to be such an emotional guy, and now, if he shows a SHRED of emotion, I know something is really REALLY bothering him. I know that has to do with the military and everything, but this change is ruining our marriage! He is not the same person I married. He goes back and forth on everything, and can't decide what he wants. He’s so anal about everything I feel like I do NOTHING right. I feel like I shouldn’t bother with anything because no matter how much effort I put into it, I’ll get the same negative outcome. We fight all the time, and not just fight, we FIGHT. It goes 0 to divorce in a matter of minutes, and it always ends up with him telling me to book a flight and go back home. In the past, he would have NEVER done that. He was the one fighting to keep us together, and I would run away when things got tough. I have talked to him about counseling, and he agreed, but we haven't gotten in to see someone. He set up an appointment (which I feel might have been intentional) when I had to work, and he said they were booked for a month and a half, so we wouldn't be able to get in for awhile. We got into an argument last night RANDOMLY after we had a nice evening together, and he told me that counseling wouldn't help us. He said if we can’t fix our problems, a therapist wouldn’t be able to (which I don’t agree with. Coming from a psych background I know it can help us). He admitted that he doesn't know why he feels the way he does, and it's not me, but he can't help those feelings. When we really started fighting, I asked him what I could do to help things, and he asked me to do a few things. Since then, I have. The house is spotless when he comes home; I cook dinner, and spend time with him. I've worked on everything that he's asked me to, so I don't know what else I can do. I’m seriously at my wit’s end! I don’t know what to do. I’m 2 seconds away from giving up and going home, which is not what I want. He is the father of my child, and has been my best friend since the day we met. I want to be with him, but I can’t live like this. I want my husband back! I’m just wondering if there is anyone else out there that has dealt with this! What did you do? If you guys worked it out, what helped? What did you figure out was the problem? Thanks for any advice/answers!
Update: First of all, I don't know what the "troll" comment is supposed to mean.... And secondly, I really don't feel like I should go home. I've established a life for myself down here. I have a job and people that depend on me. I've picked up my life once, I don't want to keep doing it.... show more First of all, I don't know what the "troll" comment is supposed to mean....

And secondly, I really don't feel like I should go home. I've established a life for myself down here. I have a job and people that depend on me. I've picked up my life once, I don't want to keep doing it. On top of that, I feel like if I go home, that's what will always be "the answer". I go home, I come back and things are great because we miss each other. We get into an argument and I just go home again? We've had enough time apart in the past, and more time apart in our near future. We NEED to be spending this time together, not in different states. I just don't want to go home because it just seems like the beginning of the end.....
Update 2: Joshua, Thank you so much for your post. It gave me a lot of insight and I really think that's what's going on with my husband. He missed out on the first 7 months of our daughters life, and I know that was hard on him. I always complained because I was raising our daughter without him, but I never gave... show more Joshua,

Thank you so much for your post. It gave me a lot of insight and I really think that's what's going on with my husband. He missed out on the first 7 months of our daughters life, and I know that was hard on him. I always complained because I was raising our daughter without him, but I never gave as much thought about what NOT being able to raise her would make me feel. You really captured his emotions I think, and we will definitely try counseling before we give up. It's comforting to know that someone's gotten through the same thing we are going through right now.
Update 3: Cleazott, you are totaly wrong on your entire statement, no offense. The problem is the exact opposite actually. I have matured more than he has. He doesn't understand that he has responsibilities being a husband and father.
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