Funny horse jokes?????
Just wanted to know if you had any funny horse jokes.
Heres some I know of:
How do you......
induce labor in a mare? Take a nap.
cure equine constipation? Load them in a clean trailer.
cure equine insomnia? Take them in a halter class.
get a horse to stay very calm and laid back? Enter them in a liberty class.
get a horse to wash their own feet? Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
get a mare to come in heat? Take her to a show.
get a mare in foal the first cover? Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall.
make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted? Sell her before she foals.
get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch? Get him out late at night or anytime no one is a round to see him.
induce a cold snap in the weather? Clip a horse.
make it rain? Mow a field of hay.
make a small fortune in the horse business? Start with a large one.
One morning the farmer went out at sunrise to feed the horses, he fed all of his horses but one. As he was walking to his mare's stall to feed her, he discovered she wasn't there. So he told his wife and they looked for her all day and finally at sunset the farmer opens the door to the barn and discovers his mare with her head in a half empty bag of sweet feed, and the farmer yells to his wife: "FOUND'ER!"
There was a preacher who was trying to sell his horse. A man stopped by to see how the horse rode. The preacher told the man that instead of saying, “walk", say, “praise the Lord,” and instead of saying, “whoa,” say, “amen.” So the man got on the horse and said, “praise the Lord,” and the horse started to walk. The man then said, “praise the Lord,” again and the horse started to trot. He said it a few more times, then the horse started galloping. Suddenly a cliff appeared. The man yelled "Whoa!". The horse didn't stop. He tried yelling al sorts of things, and he tried to pull the horse up, but it wouldn't stop. Then suddenly he remembered what to say. The man said, “amen.” The horse stopped right before they fell off. The man was so releived that he put his hand on his forehead and then said, ”Praise the Lord.”
MURPHY'S HORSE LAWS
There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.
A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
Your favorite tack always gets chewed on, and your new blanket gets torn.
Tack you hate will never wear out and blankets you hate cannot be destroyed.
Horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
Clipper blades will become dull when your horse is half clipped.
If you approach within 50 feet of your barn in clean clothes, you will get dirty.
The number of horses you own will increase to the number of stalls in your barn.
Your barn will fall down without baling twine.
Hoof picks always run a way from home.
If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
If you are winning, then quit, because there is only one way to go. Down!
There's more but I don't want to bore ya'll! Haha.
What jokes do you have?