Please help me.....easy ten points! You know what I don't understand about parents?

It's pretty long but PLEASE read...

Okay, so when they're young, per say, or your age -- so to speak -- they are wild, and outrageous and do things you would do these days. Then they grow up. Somewhere along the way, they've gradually yet with massive force outgrown these standards and expectations. You know, they "desire" different things.

My question is: When did they happen to outgrow their "coolness" and individuality? Now, they let their kids do whatever their friends consider "appropriate," even if they themselves think the outlook as a whole is refreshing and insightful or whatever.

My parents think that piercings and tatoos are lame and look like you've got no manners and/or were not educated "properly."

Now, for me, there are no right or wrong parents skills, there's ONLY parenting skills, period.

I'm 14 and my parents didn't let me go to the mall or movies alone with friends until I was like 12-13 years old.

And parents usually tell kids to be themselves, and while their growing up, the parent encourages them to believe in themselves and to throw themselves at whatever life has to offer.

Then, when you get accepted into modeling school or something, they backfire on you when you least think they would.


Unbelievable, that's it.

Anyway, the point is, who's with me?

My parents don't even like let me paint my nails neon colors (they let me occasionally but whatever, they naturally detest it and I constantly am holding a grudge against it nonstop.)

So this is downright weird. How could they tell you to "follow your dreams" and then prevent you from everything later on in the future?

My parents don't even like me buying long earrings and stuff, they think it looks..."sl*tty" but anyway, those are the only kind I wear.

And I know my intellectuality is still there, I just can't seem to get it out in recent years. And lately it's been a real drag.

Who's with me?

It's just so tempting. My parents don't even like me using strapless but I still do it. And I'm so annoyed! I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until I had to sneak behind their back at age 12 and was sometimes able to get away with it and manage getting my way around it.

But still.

When did they become so lame?


It's so dull though

I can't even watch R unless it's with them (and I've only seen 2 in my life, and it's awkward with them) and I don't have a bedtime though b/c I didn't listen to them back when I did.

12 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your question is actually identical (apart from some minor details) to the one every 14 year old since the beginning of time has asked, and ever will ask, including your own Mom, grandma, all your teachers, and some day your own children and grandchildren. But your question is earnest and shows that despite your naivete you are probably more intelligent and more sophisticated than most 14 year olds. So I'll give it to you straight--no BS like "someday you'll understand" and "they really have your best interests at heart" and "you're too young to understand," etc. BTW, all those things are true, they're not BS, but I'm sure you've heard them all before, and like most 14 year olds, you've already discounted these things in your assessment of the situation. So I'll try another way, if you promise you'll at least try to believe it might be true. Since you posted the question, I assume you're open to anyone's answer, even if they're not "with you."

    As people go from age 14 to whatever age your parents are, sure, they see things, learn things, observe things, and experience things that might shape their view of the world a little bit. But nobody really goes through the massive titanic shift in their beliefs that you think your parents did. Become lame? They didn't "become" anything! They're basically the same people they were when they were your age, believe it or not. And here's the kicker--would you believe it if I said that your parents are not only "not lame" for treating you the way they do and the things they say and believe, but are quite likely very cool and would be considered by many people of all ages to be much more cool, reasonable, in touch with the scene, and know what's what in the world, the neighborhood, and your school, more and better than you?!

    Believe it!

    And just don't write me off as another old fart that just takes your parents' side on everything, I don't even know them or you or anybody. Instead, promise you'll try one experiment. Sit down some time for a few minutes with your mom (or dad or both). Pick a time when you're not in the middle of some big fight about something, and make sure you have some time without interruption. (No phones, texts, tv, etc.) And have a really honest talk about just one thing. (Maybe the makeup, the earrings, maybe even what it means to be slutty.) Set aside everything you've previously heard them say--pretend it's a stranger that's their age and has a random 14 year old kid and you're interviewing them for the school paper or whatever. And you keep yourself in check and really, really try to listen to them and try to understand why think their 14 year old shouldn't be allowed to do this or that but it's ok to do something or another. Forget that it's about you for those few minutes and ask them to be super honest about exactly why and for what reasons they decide something you don't understand or don't agree with. You might actually find (oh no!) that there actually is a good reason for something, but you never knew because you never asked and were too busy trying to find a way to get around it. And, if you maintain your composure and they do too you might find that the reason for something is because they think something specific is true which isn't really true. And if you can tell them calmly and prove it they might change their mind about it, because their decision was based on it and it turns out they were mistaken. Here's another thing you probably won't want to hear, but think about this. Pick something you've argued about before (the earrings, the mall, whatever). Think back about the argument you had about it. You had all your reasons for wanting it, and they had all their reasons for saying no. Forget about whether anybody's reasons were right or wrong, or whether you agreed with their reasons or whether they agreed with yours. Ask yourself this: who was more HONEST in the argument? In other words, which side was giving the reasons they actually believed were the real reasons? Even if the reasons may or may not have been factually bogus, who was keeping it real by saying what they really thought and who was stretching their side of the argument with points that weren't really the truth but might lead to winning the argument?

    OK, that's enough. My answer was even longer than your question. But good luck. And remember most of all--your parents "get it" a lot more than you think. They not only know more about things in the world and are trying to help and protect you, but they ALSO know how angry and frustrated you are with them and they TOTALLY know exactly how much you think they're out of touch and they understand very well what your life is like and how they look to you through your eyes. Your parents are NOT lame. And they totally know that YOU think they ARE lame and they totally know WHY you think they are lame. And yet they love you anyway.....that's how "not lame" they are!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I did not wear makeup when i was 12, that is, in my opinion too young. Now i am 16, i wasn't able to go the the mall with my friends until age 14.

    They really do have there hands full with you, appreciate them a little more. You're kind of young to be wearing strapless. respect them, they ARE your parents after all. You shouldn't be doing things behind there back.

    Neon colors on nails do look pretty tacky too by the way. They don't become 'boring', they just have common sense. You get that as you get older.

    Don't try to grow up too fast, which it seems like you are trying to do. Just lay back and relax, one day you won't have the luxury of living in there house anymore, and trust me.. you'll miss them telling you what to do.

    From the way you talk you sound pretty spoiled. If i did something behind my parents back.. i would seriously regret it.

    You aren't being 'cool' by disrespecting your parents. I don't think you're cool. 90% of the people answering don't think it's cool. So just stop.

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  • 1 decade ago

    First of Life is not Fair.

    Things you do in your youth are not so cool or accepted when you are older and need to get a job to support yourself.

    My Job is a hard one I am constantly trying to balance supporting my Sons dreams but also keeping it practical so they can survive and live on there own.

    I learned what is acceptable by trial and error and did cool things as a kid that now I know where a mistake and I can't undo them. But society changes and more things become acceptable every year. The problem is I only know what I know. I have to work to support my family and can not be up to date on everything. If I don't work my sons won't get cool things. Its a hard balancing act. Generally if my sons are persistent (they always want things and use 1 day and it is done) I will support them. If they show me they are reliable I will give in. If they prove to me it is acceptable I will give in. If they wine and call me lame and tell me everybody else is doing it. It will be a solid no.

    You can't survive crying though life or calling people you don't like names or following what everyone else does.

    Source(s): Parent 2 Boys
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  • 1 decade ago

    I had a 10:30 curfew until I was 18 and had a very strict dad that was a wild child growing. I'm 19 and still live at home but because I followed his rules and respected them I have no rules because I earned his trust and respect.

    When a parent is buckling down and being strict they aren't doing it just to irritate you they are doing it because they want to protect you and raise you to have good morales and ethics

    So well they want to you to express your individuality and follow your dreams they want to make sure you are protected and do it in an appropriate manner.

    At age 14 your going to make choices that you are going look back on and be like what was I thinking and they want to make sure you don't have to experience.

    It may be lame having strict parents but they are doing it because they care about you and when you are older you will appreciate what they did for you. I do.

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  • 1 decade ago

    That's not all parents. Those of us who remember well what it's like being a teen, tend to let our kids express themselves.

    Your parents sound like their trying to be protective, trying to stop you from growing up to their opinion.

    What teens don't seem to grasp is that we were absolutely no different from you, sure it was a different time...but all your and other teens arguments were "EXACTLY" ours.

    But how the heck, can they admit that and deny you the same, so ya, for sure their not about to tell you that or the things they did that were 200 times worse than anything you could actually ever do.

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  • 1 decade ago

    what! ahahs well ..i get what your saying..but they never actuallly transition its just responsiblities they have.look im 17 yrs old and all my parents do is naggg! thier are many reasons why thier lame ! because they have to u actually want a parent to be ur friend let u do what u want ! parents are thier to guide you.even know its torminting you shouldnt be so up tight."dreams"-uggs, u shldnt really care about what your pareents have to say because you make your own path but althogh you still need to respect them.Wearng makeup isnt bad,but have u ever asked why they didnt want u you to wear it,i bet ur a beautiful girl and that stuff messes up ur skin ! mybe some eyeliner),but thiers many reasons sometimes they can be asswholes! tho they wont give u you a reason why. you just have to complie with thier wishes regardless.

    Source(s): oh snaps you shouldnt start sneaking things either ! includng makeup ! becuse if u start doing it now its ,going to progress.that leads to a lost of trust.just from experence **
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  • Ann
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Pinches Gringos

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You're being lame by trying to categorize the people who love you as lame.

    Rly, mostly it's just because they're mature enough to know that being "lame" really doesn't matter i.e; it isn't important.

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  • 1 decade ago

    sound like your a spoiled brat!! your parent are only try to help you grow up.bye sneaking,that real BAD!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    eugh parents annoy me too i am totlly with you

    ma mum is kinda like that with mey and she anoys the he*l out of me but ma friends dad i saw waling down the street like full singing the star wars them trouwing his fone around like lightsaver i am with you but every parent looses there coolness at diffrent times .

    listen to brocken man by boys like girls and that explains kinda how you or i feel but ya no its not abouta girl ora luv but parents x

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