Can men be just as marterialistic and gold digging as women?

I know someone who is in a relationship with a guy of almost two years. She goes to school, she works her fingers to the bone just to get her bills paid, and the poor girl is ready to collapse. And the guy she is with has not really helped her financially this whole time.

She comes from a poor working class family, and is trying to better herself by putting herself through college. Ever since she was young, she has ALWAYS had a strong work ethic instilled in her, so she has worked very hard for everything she has earned all of her life.

The guy that she is seeing comes from a very well to do family who is worth over 10 million a year. His younger siblings go to a private school, his parents live in a three million mansion, have a brand new car every year, and they are members of an exclusive country club. So that should give you a clue on how this guy was raised.

Every quarter she gets her financial aid check, and every single time she gets a paycheck from her employer and he's ALWAYS thinking of ways to spend HER money on stupid, needless ****. Recently, she applied for a scholarship, and instead of saying "That's awesome babe, I hope you get it!" his response was, "Cool! We'll get more nice things!"

She says he's a nice guy who treats her well and he has never laid a finger on her. He does his share around the house and he even cooks, but I can tell this is taking a serious toll on her mental well-being when she barely has enough money to pay her bills, any money for herself so she can buy nice things. Infact the last time she got her financial aid check from school, it was all gone! Where did it go? To more stupid ****!

She loves this guy alot, but she doesn't want to end up on the street. And something is telling me, since this guy's parents are pretty well off and since he's left home, he's trying to keep up with them. I've met his mom and it seems like they are two peas in a pod always talking about the latest material things, and in a sick kind of way, it's almost like they are in competition with each other and they are both NEVER satisfied with what they have.

I think it's all about appearances with the mother and son and the girlfriend/fiance is paying through the nose. What should she do?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Of course....look at Halle Berry's baby daddy. What a gold-digger.

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  • Absolutely. Men that are gigolos prey on the weak and strong incomed women just as women do with men who are like that. The reality is that some women will go for a broke dude because they can't find a guy that's in there league, so they'll settle for the fine dude with no money because he has great sex, or is arm candy, so they'll take him then not to be with no one at all. Tell her is it the "D' worth losing her livelihood over? And if she really want to see where his head is at, she needs to test him. Tell him that her income is being cut back, or she won't be able to financially hold him down and see what he does. If he gets weird, then he's perpetrating, but if he's genuine, he'll help her out or not be in her pockets period. But I doubt that will happen, so she just might need to take it as a loss before she loses her money, and if the loses her money she damn sure is gonna lose the man because she has nothing to give.

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  • I think you need to ask HER. It really is her life. If she feels he's not good enough would she leave him? From what you say I think she probably thinks that he is the best she can expect to get. What you prob need to do is amke sure she knows that there ARE better men out there, who will definitely treat her better. Talk to her deeply and figure out between you what is the problem with the relationship. If you are so disgusted with this guy then he can hardly be thge best thing for your friend. I would encourage her to get with someone else. Also, I'm sure you help her already but maybe give her a financial leg up sometimes? : ) Good Luck and I'm sure she appreciates how much you care.

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  • Coco
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    well, she could try to have a talk, a private talk with him... but before that, you need to have a talk to her because she is deeply in love with him untill she does not know which part is being a good person and a good servant in a relationship.

    you should have a talk with her, convince her that what she do is wrong. finding money is good but if you push yourself too far and letting others have all your money is wrong. it's your money after all so you have the privilage to spend it for yourself also, not all for debt and her lover.

    but you need to do this slowly and convince her slowly. make her realise it slowly because if you force her she might think otherwisw or start to defending her self...

    after you convince her then you ask her to have a talk with her lover. told him that he needed to be a MAN in the relationship not a spoiled boy. even if he is being raised from a wealthy family doesn't mean he can do everything his own way without need to work and make effort to achieve it his own self. talk about all his bad attitude.

    if the talk didn't go out well, then ask your friend to think it throughly. whether she can stand this kind of relationship. it's her life after all and her decision.

    for me, if the guy wont change than left him. it's not worth to live with a guy like that. even if he is wealthy but if i need to work hard also by myself than it's not going anywhere. relationship suppose to have the meaning to be together and do things together. to share life but if you doing all the thing alone than it's not a healthy relationship.

    good luck

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My Mom and Dad divorced like that, you know? In the Summer of 2008. It was so similar :o !

    My mom went to see this physic or something, and she told my Mom that when she gets home...money would be missing ?

    So we went home, and there was over $1000 missing. My dad slept on the coach all day, sometimes he even forgot to pick me and my brother up from school !

    But you know what? He ended up on the streets, but ripped my Mom off by telling the court some load of bullshit, and now she has to give him $400 every Sunday for the next couple weeks. (not anymore)

    If she wants to live her life like that, that's perfectly fine. But if she's not happy, and wants to provoide loving care for herself, then she has to make the right decision. No matter how much it costs her.

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  • Lady S
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Your friend should break up with him because he is not willing to do anything to help her pay the bills and he does not even support her for going to college and trying to better herself. This idiot is being materialistic just like his mother. Yes, your friend does love him, but love shouldn't hurt and this jerk is hurting her. He has no right whatsoever to spend her financial aid money that belongs to her. He is better off dating a female that is a gold-digger just like he is. Your friend will realize that he doesn't deserve her and she is worthy of somebody better. You could try and talk to her about this, but at the end of the day, it is her decision to make on whether she should stay with him or not. Good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    this guy is not right for her. if i were her i would not be with him. why do women take so much crap from guys? that isnt love. he isnt being supportive at all. why is she putting herself through that? she seems like a wonderful person who knows what she wants and will work to get it. why isnt she doing the same with her love life? im sure she knows that this relationship isnt exactly what she wants. i dont think she should be with this joker because i know that she can find someone better. tell her not to let any guy (or anyone for that matter) drag her down and dont take any crap from anyone. because the guy that she should be with would be supportive and proud of her.

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  • 1 decade ago

    No men can't be that way but BOYS ARE THAT WAY!

    a man is taught rite from the start to be a provider for his familly and to do what needs to be done to meet the basics food,shelter ,and clothing needs for his family.

    your friends has a good lil boy on her hands who will wipe her out if she does not put the foot in his tail to get his focus on what matters.

    This is a boy plain and simple he only cares about his toys and things.

    A man who loves a woman to the best of his ability has her needs and best interest in mind,not what he wants,but WHAT THEY NEED.!!!

    so if you care about your friend let her know what i have told you as gently as you can because it is something she will not want to hear and doesn't want to believe.

    She needs a man not a boy, so look me up if you need help telling her.

    other than that i wish you and her best of luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    I dont think she should 'necessarily' dump him, but let him know in no uncertain terms that is HER money and if he wants to buy nice things he needs to get a JOB and do it himself and and QUIT USEING HER ...BECAUSE IF NOT HES GOING TO BE OUT ON THE STREET AND FEELING VERY VERY POOR.

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  • 1 decade ago

    yep yep yep...... they can!

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