Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureHolidaysRamadan · 1 decade ago

When a woman divorces, do you think it's her responsibility to remain single until her children are adults?

I do. I'm just wondering if it's the predominant belief.

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  • Yeti
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    Depends on the situation, why the divorce happened, the particular people involved, etc.

    In some cases there's a more stable life if she remains single, and if she and her children work together as a family unit.

    There are other cases where the kids may need a male figure in their life, especially if their dad hadn't been a good one, or where the woman may be "weaker" or lacking professional experience and ability to support the family and keep it stable all by herself.

    I think it's her responsibility to figure out what's in the best long-term interests of her kids and her family in general rather than being solely "in the moment" concerned about herself and no one else. How that translates as to whether or not she remains single can vary.

    One long-term problem that can crop up if she does remain single is the lack of someone present to aid her in her later years, and burdens on children can be later increased when they would normally be trying to handle their own careers and families. If the kids are likely to remain local to her professionally and personally, this may not be as big a concern.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't. But for most women, I think it would be better.

    Many women, unfortunately, are more concerned with meeting their own needs than meeting those of their children. If your children live with you, you need to put them first.

    However, as your kids go off to school, etc., you may find yourself with time to spare. If you found someone that was a good person and had a similar attitude and could take being a back seat to your kids (not a doormat), then, if you loved each other and the kids were okay with it, etc., I would say it's okay to get remarried.

    But otherwise, there will be endless conflict in the home and your children don't deserve that.

    Of course, the flip side is: what if the kids live with mom, should dad date? Get remarried? Or should he too remain single? I think the same rules should apply to dad as mom, regardless of where the kids are living, since they will be exposed to both parents and their lives.

    The only major drawback for a woman to wait is...it gets that much harder to find someone as a woman gets older. If she waits until her kids are grown and out of the house, she might be 50 before she can get remarried. And good luck with that.

    So...it's a case-by-case sort of thing, IMO. Inshallah I'll never have to figure this all out for myself.

  • 1 decade ago

    Not at all-shouldn't the father remain single too according to your theory?

    Of course I don't believe the children should be subjected to an endless stream of suitors but a few pre-screened men would be okay and I think a healthy example to the children.

  • 1 decade ago

    Salam.No In line with Islam a wodow is not her responsibility to remain single until her children become adults.The ex husband should give part of his monthly income to his ex wife for raising their kids until they are adults The ex wife could get married again with ex husband during iddah period (3 months plus 10 days) or with another man after the iddah period finished.During iddah period the ex husband has the obligation to give money to his ex wife out of the living cost for their children.If the husband divorced his wife without a mistake,he should pay also a certain amount of money or goods as his gift for her.

    During the iddah period the ex wife is not allowed to get married or accept the engagement with another man.

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  • 1 decade ago

    No I believe quite the opposite. Children need to learn to grow in loving homes and see a normal relationship between a man and woman. Now sleeping with every man that comes along and introducing the children numerous men is definitely wrong.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't think so. My mom was never married, but while we were living in Germany she found a man who became her life partner. (They'll never marry, but they're certainly committed to each other like they are.) I was about . . . fourteen when I figured it out, maybe? What hurt was that they were keeping it a secret. But, after everything was open, all was well.

    I think the worst thing you could do is lie to your children or sacrifice your personal happiness. If you're not happy, your kids will know.

    That's just what I think.

    Source(s): Life
  • No; because she'll be old once their gone (depending on how old they were already) She should get married; it would help her finically. It would help her children in the long run. It's hard to make it as a single mom. It would help her kids out in the long run. Plus it's hard to be alone for most people.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Not I... she's gonna become an oldie by the time her kid(s) grow up...so I don't quite see the point in getting married after the children are adults

  • 1 decade ago

    No, why would it be her '' responsibility''?

    Anybody can get married anytime they want...(according to Islam)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Aha ha ha a ha ahaa ah ha ha ha aha!! Woman? Divorces? In Islam?

    They're not allowed to divorce! They'd get lashes!

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