teen parents.your stories?mine?

How hard has it been?

What do you regret?

Was it planned?

Have you felt like giving up?

I'm debating on getting myself off the pill or not. I'm 16.graduated. going to college working. living with my mom. my boyfriend is 21 working very steady jobs.we've been together for three years. we've overcome so many obstacles together i feel like our love could move mountains.

but i know in my head right now. my life is going to be going to school.moving out.partying.smoking pot.partying.school.and my boyfriend.

with a baby.my life would have to be planned because i know i'd have to think about his.her life. my boyfriend isn't ready. he says he'd stick around if it were to happen, but i still couldn't be to sure. i could raise a child alone.and my family would be supportive. but being young as i am. and in a rocky relationship at times? is it bad to be wanting a child. sometimes i just feel like i was supposed to be a mother.

I've wanted a child since i was very young.and i know i'm still young,i have my life ahead of me. but i feel that i might be better off with an addition to my life.a new life.

my situation is confusing.i've always felt very much older than i am. i believe that God will send me a baby, if i'm supposed to have one.but being on the pill could be in the way.

I want to know about being a teen mother. single and married.

I want to have a family.with my boyfriend he means so much to me. i can just imagine. his smile and my childs smile would make me the happiest person in the world. but i cant guarantee he'd stay. i just know i'd be commited 100%. hes not ready.i might be.i want to be. i'm 16 hes 21. were in love.and i believe its real. i just don't know. if leaving myself unprotected and just seeing what happens.is even ok? i wudn't want to feel like i'm going behind his back.tho. he knows were having sex.and he doesn't want to use condoms.and i'm sure he doesn't even know if i'm taking the pill right.he thinks pulling out is ok.when it dos nothing but make a mess.

12 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    My story:

    I found out I was pregnant about a week after my 19th birthday. It's been nothing but an emotional roller coaster and something I don't wish upon anybody. Telling your family is hard, my parents were angry (for being stupid), upset (they cried), confused/scared (financially and for my future), and very disappointed (which is very hard to take). My mom couldn't talk to me for a few days and wouldn't even lend me her support for awhile.

    Immediately I was thrust into a real adult life. I was expected to figure out our insurances, call the company, look for doctors, set up appointments, think of the future (the cost of the doctor ($3200), cost of the hospital, cost of appts ($70/monthly), where i'll be living, where the baby will be, furniture/baby expenses, marriage being thrown at me, etc. My caffeine was taken away from me, my medicines stripped from me, "can't eat that" and "Can't take that!" and literally within a few days It wasn't just about me anymore.

    I'm only 12 wks pregnant and within a heartbeat I do wish I could take it back. I won't sugar coat it for you. My S/O is 22, still in college, and we are/were madly in love. Talked about marriage and our futures together and right now just in 12 short weeks we've had some of the worst ups and downs of our relationship ever. It's VERY trying on your relationship and whatever love you might have for each other.

    Don't get yourself into this situation until you are completely independent, have your own place, married, and you're financially stable. Every day I worry about how I'm financially going to make it (insurance especially!!), if my boyfriend and I will be together in the end, and just emotionally as a teenager how I'll make it. I have 3 years on you and there's still so much I wasn't able to do before getting pregnant. Don't rush it or trick your boyfriend, wait until you can give your child the best things in life without having to worry how you're going to make ends meet.

    Source(s): 12 wks pregnant at 19
  • My mother had me at 15 and my dad was 23. They are still togeather today but very unhappy with each other and has been for a long time. My childhood was rough. Mom had me and than had my 2 brothers and it was hard not having things and everyone thinking my mom was my sister. Looking back on it mom was to immature to be a mother. I am 23 and have a 22 month old and a 8 month old. I absolutly love it. I remember being a teen and wanting a baby. Oh the guys I dated wow~ I was lucky that I didn't get pregnant, Live your life as a teen. Do a little partying without the pot smoking. Before you have kids u need to be living somewhere other than with MOM ~ Let me tell ya, the day that I had both my kids were the most exciting days of my life and there all cutsie and the baby stuff is adorable and then they cry and cry and cry. You are litterally rocking and feeding and dozing off because you are exausted and when u go to sleep and get settled Guess what. More crying and crying. And then they get to the teething. Cry and cry and then there is the poop and more poop and trying to crawl and cant get anywhere and throwing a fit. And then walking and going into the bathroom and sitting on the toliet and flushing only to have the water come back up cause the baby stuck something down the toliet or all the messes they make. The hitting, throwing things, hair pulling and biting. I love every min of it but I am a stay at home mom with a husband and income to take care of them. I am thankful everyday that my children have more than I did and they have more of a chance to succeed. I don't personally think its fair to have a baby on purpose without a father being there. If you know its not going to work that is unfair to the child. The most important thing a mother can do is not be selfish. Your child and his/her needs come before you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, im 18 and 22 weeks pregnant. It wasn't planned but not regreted. When I found out I was pregnant my boyfriend told me he would be with me still and all that, he's 20 by the way, but about 3 months into the pregnancy he decided he wasn't ready and left. This doesn't mean ur boyfriend will leave but chances are he will, especially if he said he wasn't ready. And believe me, its one thing to be left, but its a whole nother to be left while pregnant. I can honestly say it was one of the worse things I've been through. It hurts badly. Because u love the guy, and ur having his baby. And u won't understand why he's doing this to you and the baby. And ur emotians are going to be so crazy anyway from the pregnancy that u will be crazy lady for awhile. Crying was something I did almost everyday for 2 months. Its not good for u and def not for the baby, and the baby is the most important thing. So remember that. Im not going to judge, but I will say, you should wait. Plus ur 16 . Live like a 16 year old. Enjoy the time u have. U can have babies later too you know? Good luck! And I hope I have helped a little

    -- rayven

  • 1 decade ago

    i was 15 years old when i got pregnant and it has been the hardest time for me. I am 17 years old now and my daughter is almost 1 and i can't tell you how hard it is going to be.

    I did not plan on becoming pregnant and i have no regrets on keeping my baby. But if i could do it all over again i would have never had sex with my then boyfriend ( now husband ) because i want to give her everything all my time, be there for every moment but i cant.

    You need to wait stay on your pill and be safe wait when you are done with school and you have a good job you have your whole life ahead of you be a kid while you can because you have to grow up fast and there is no turning back.

    Good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Personally, I think from the way you explained this, you didn't fail to tell us that your boyfriend is not ready to have a baby, and you aren't sure he'd stick around, am i correct?

    No man wants a baby at his age, i mean, a preggo's test makes men disspear.

    I understand that you are above your age level mentally, but a baby at this age, at your point in time, will just make things more complicated, and might make the love of your live leave. Just think, if you get to be 18.. 19.. 20.. and you're stil dating him, then heck, shoot for a baby, but make sure he's on board, because if you trick him by getting preggo's, you would go behind his back, and it would be unfair to him. If your life depends on getting knocked up, make sure he knows its going to happen. Besides, i was reading somewhere that young mothers' children do not come out as healthy as a woman who is olders child does. My advice to you is to wait. Now, i'm not going to say that "yes! have your child" to get the best answer, so i choose this route on telling you to wait, becasue it will make a HUGE impact on your life.

  • 1 decade ago

    i was 16 when i got pregnant with my 1st child and my partner was 19 we are still together to this day and have a 2nd child (had him at 18). he wanted children and so did I. if i was you i would wait until he is ready otherwise there is a big possibility that he will leave u. be honest with your partner and accept his decisions. and 2 ur question about how hard it is... it all depends on whether u have patience and the confidence to deal with there needs and the sleepless nights and if u can afford the basic necessities

    Source(s): personal experiences
  • Daneil
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Secret Life I know Teen Mom is all real but Secret Life because I love Amy's hairstyle lol teen mom is too real for me!

  • 1 decade ago

    I wouldn't right now in your circumstances. Go on the pill. You have many years a head of you. Wait until both of you are ready and be safe until you are both 100% sure you are ready.

  • 1 decade ago

    im 14 eight months pregnant and decided to put the baby up for adoption the baby's father left 3 months ago and its been tough but he tries to be there for me i think.

    if god wants you to have a baby he wouldnt let you being on the pill stop him its not 100% effective

    but if you really want a baby talk to your bf see what he wants first

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    if a baby is going to fix your life, get off, i just don't think it well

    it may at first, but then you will just be ruining their life too. talk to your mom and maybe you can stop smoking and find a way to quit

    Source(s): Cousin
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