how can you handle a relationship like this?

so i have a bf who i love and he is pretty much Bipolar and ADHD.

I been with him for about 6 months.

At this moment our relationship is going down.

But i feel like he probably going through more things then i will go through because of his family.

My bf family is hard on him.

They yell at him.his mom lets her bf calls him all kind of names and abusive him. when he was young his uncle abusive him by beating him cuz he uncle was always a drinker. his siblings doesn't care about him. they don't say hi,bye,give him a hug or tell him they love him(i know this cuz he told me ). His mama is using her bf so she can get money cuz she doesn't have a great job so support everything they need in life and etc... But i hate seeing him go through it.

He told me he had a bad christmas because problems with his family(he didn't get a present from them and he got mad cuz i didn't pick up my phone for like 5 hours. My phone was on silent so i forgot about it in my purse cuz i was have having to much fun. so he got mad. but idk how to handle a relationship sooo stressful

so can you guys help?

Thanks if you do

14 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    i if u reall love him u should support him cause ur probably the only loving thing he's got.he probably needs u way more than u need him.so just try not to be mean to him u know,and be his bestfriend instead of just his gf.i hope everything works out

  • 4 years ago

    Get some more life experience dating people closer to your age. You have your own interests which will be very different than those of a man ten years older than you and it would be better to decide who you are before dating someone who has lived more than 50% longer than you. Age differences are huge at first and become a smaller deal as you get older. This is mostly because the older you get the more independent and self-identified you become so that you don't identify yourself by being the older guy's girl. This doesn't happen in relationships with closer ages (or most of the time it doesnt) because you don't find yourself deferring to the older individual's experience and knowledge all the time.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you don't handle it. you run as fast as you can, i'm sorry to say. not only is having bipolar a serious mental illness, but adhd is no picnic either as i have a son with adhd, and a extended family member with the bipolar. in addition to have a mental illness and learning disorder, your BF is also a little possesive, which isn't a good thing added to the mix. for him to get angry that you were with YOUR family, enjoying YOUR christmas, even though he called and you didn't pick up for five hours, is unacceptable. you have a right to do what you want with your family without some idiot dictating your time and getting mad when you don't do what he wants. i'd say that unless you want to be 35 years old someday and have a mentally ill and learning disordered man abusing and dictating your movements in life, jump ship fast now while you still can and have your best years ahead of you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you personally Mature & Focused

    enough to take on Challenges & High-Drama?

    Your current path-way is slated for

    Destruction!

    This is far too much Emotional-Baggage

    for any young person to take on!

    Dysfunctional Families are Counter-Productive.

    Do you possess enough "Emotional-

    Intelligence" to tackle these problems?

    Do you have the time & Patience?

    For me?

    I have NO Time for "Damaged-Goods" !!

    This person will keep Therapists BUSY!

    Do you have any "game"?

    Is this the Best you can do?

    The choice is yours!

    Good Luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow you have a lot on your plate as well as your boy friend.

    I think the best thing to do is to stay strong for him and be a positive person in his life. It seems that is what he needs.

    Don't let his family get you because he needs you to be a sounds board once in a while.

    It is hard but worth it I guess if you care for him and want to help him and see him happy.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well i'm sorry for what you are going through in your relationship and your b/f seems to have gone through a lot and you seem to realy love him. I suggest you try tell that you sympathize with what he is going through but you dont want him to take out his stress out on you and maybe your relaitionship might get beter

    good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    You should have been there for your boyfriend at christmas. But at the same time he shouldn't be letting his home life effect your relationship. It doesn't sound like your relationship's that serious and if it's that stressful you should probably break up.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    just bear with him. coming from a family with similar problems i know how much it means for your partner to listen to you rant and take out all your anger and just to be there for you.

    when things come down you'll have the best time of your life and he'll make things right again.

    help him now cuz he really needs you atm.

    good luck x

  • 1 decade ago

    Just stick with him. I mean, not all relationships are easy. He'll get through this. And even if he doesn't until he's grown and moved out, at least he'll have you by his side.

  • 1 decade ago

    Make sure you are there for him. It sounds like he has a lot to deal with. Stay with him and comfort him. Maybe then he will be more calm and relaxed.

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