My girlfriend doesn't want to hangout with me.?
The last time we hung out was probably the greatest day of my life, I asked if she could come over to play some Portal and watch Pulp Fiction, she also came to talk about something important. After the game and movie, I paused and asked so you wanted to say something? She thought I would think she's crazy or something or I would have a different opinion. I said no I would never think that way about you. We laid on the bed and she told me. She says cuts herself, because of the way things go around at home, she says she has been doing it since grade 6 (there was cuts on her left arm that I noticed previous days, she said they were cat scratch marks). I was calm about it, I wasn't shocked or hesitant. I told her that I will be there for her every time she were to feel like doing that. *A week later she said she was at a hospital, why? I still don't know*. I said I cared for her and I want to help. We made out for 30 minutes, down to when both of us were topless, it was amazing. After that we went to a party, hooked up again a couple of times, slept over at my friends house, made out on his bed and that was our night. We didn't go pass second base though, she said it felt awkward doing it on someones bed, I agreed lol.
This is where the problem begins, this whole month I havent hungout with her alone once. Everytime I got time to spare I ask her if she wants to hangout, sometimes her excuse is "oh my dads angry, you might not want to comeover" "im tired, like dead tired" "my councellor stopped by, it would be awkward if you came over" "my phone died, sorry I didn't know we were hanging out today", there was also this time we planned to sleepover at my house but instead ended up sleeping over at my friends house. Days turned into weeks and soon enough its the last week before she leaves on the 26 to new york for a music trip with her band class, I still haven't hungout with her. Last Thursday I wanted to skip my last class of the day biology to hangout with her because she had no class. And Friday my plan was to give her a Christmas gift, massage oil and mango body butter, mango was her favorite fruit, and I was going to give her a massage. Then there was this time on Sunday where she was 90% sure we could hangout, now of course all those events on Thursday, Friday and Sunday never came along. We already talked about it she says its been a chaotic month for her and she doesn't want me building a guilt trip over it, really I'm just feeling insecure because I've lost total control and I've been getting nothing but mixed signals. We hungout yesterday with a group of friends, she said she had something big to say to me, I went in a empty room with her and ask her to talk about it, she says it can wait, she said she felt confused and wanted to think about it more to be positive, *I asked about her hospital thing and she says her brother broke his arm, this can't be true, we saw him, his arm looked fine, she was in the hospital since 2am and got to school at lunchtime*, this felt like the last time I would see her until she comes back from new york so I gave her hugs and goodbye kisses. So it's the last week, today she is busy because she is seeing one of her friends, tomorrow she said "oh its Christmas eve sorry I have family stuff", and then the next day is Christmas, and then I would have like until 4pm the next day till she leaves on the bus to the airport.
I think she doesn't want to come over because she is afraid we will talk about "her problems", I don't think she has problems, I just want to have one hour with her, she already spent hours with all her other friends and I feel like I'm being treated like that old toy you used to play when you were a kid and forgot about it.