Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How can I deal with a demanding / controlling / bullying boss?

He is a very difficult person ... in general, how should I deal with people like this? He's such a control freak and gets off on scaring people it seems ... help.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    My first teaching job--when I was in my middle 30's, I had a very authoritarian principal. To compound the problem, it was only a 7 room school!!! She was CONSTANTLY stalking into the classroom and in the middle of a class, make me defend what I was teaching/doing!! I had a very large class of Kindergartners who'd never before had any preschool experience. For one of the first times, I had them ALL quiet and listening while I worked giant puppets I'd made. The Principal stalked in to the room; I stood up and she grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until my head bounced around!! She became aware that the little kids were staring in disbelief and she said, "Mrs. B___ will do this to YOU when you misbehave!!" I checked with my friend, the new 5th Grade teacher, and found out she'd done the same to her--right in the middle of class!!---We both were exhausted with her interruptions! I finally realized that since this was the Principal's first year at this, she was probably scared that her supervisor would check on her, etc. SO, my friend and I cooked up plans to begin reassuring her that she was really HELPING US!! E.g., "Oh, I tried your suggestion re _______ and it really worked well! Thank you!" etc.etc. We kept this up and before long, the Principal was doing less and less of her controlling visits. But it took a great deal of self-control for us to maintain this subservient attitude. ---It all depends upon whether the boss is controlling because s/he is afraid for his own job--or, just because he feels superior and loves to lord it over everyone. Since he enjoys scaring people, pretend that you are NOT afraid or intimidated, but appreciate his "suggestions"! (If you can grit your teeth tight enough!) Meanwhile, if it's intolerable, start looking for another job!! It's not worth damaging your mental health by staying!

    Source(s): Been there
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  • Rick D
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Try to realize that that is the way he is and you aren't likely to change it. So what can you change, you. First off, realize that he's not that way because of you so it should not be taken personally. Do your job to the best of your ability and take satisfaction in that even if it isn't meeting his standards. If it becomes to unbearable start looking for another job. A confrontation won't solve anything except making matters worse for you. Find ways to cope with it, help others by letting them know who much you appreciate them.

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  • 1 decade ago

    The best way to get people to be nice is to be nice and understanding. ALWAYS be cheerful.

    And try telling jokes or just having a good sense of humor. People love people who can make them laugh.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Go to his boss, there's always someone higher up.

    Or tell him it's not okay to treat you like that, draw a firm boundary.

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