my daughter is getting married but does not want my partner to attend her wedding. What can I do?
- 1 decade agoFavourite answer
You have a couple of choices. None are good.
You could refuse to go...and hurt your daughter
You could go and hurt your partner by leaving her home.
Something is going on between your daughter and your partner. You need to find out what it is and try to make both of them understand that the person they are hurting is you. You are in a no win situation.
It's sad that your daughter can't find it in her heart to make an exception in this case and have your partner attend. I'd talk to daughter and make her aware that you are the only one she is hurting by not allowing you to attend her wedding. She is young and does not understand the repercussions of her actions. You should make her aware of all the other times you will not be able to see her...or her children...or babysit...holidays. It's really up to her and if she doesn't allow your partner now, she isn't going to in the future. Don't give daughter an ultimatum, just lay out the facts that you feel are going to happen. Of course, don't get upset and say you are not going...wait...think it over and make up your mind about what is the best thing to do. It's important to let her know you want very much to be part of her life because you love her more than anyone else in the world and don't want to hurt her in any way. A tear and a hug...hopefully will work.
- FarrisLv 41 decade ago
Are you paying for the wedding? If you are and any of that money actually comes from the partner, I would have a serious conversation about her taking your partner's money and then not wanting your partner at the wedding. That seems unfair.
If you or your partner are not financially contributing, then I think you have to bow down to her desires. It's her day. It will only be a few hours apart from your partner. But, I would explain to your daughter, that the emotional damage done to any relationship she may one day have with your partner... will be pretty permanent. That's a huge slap in the face. But, she may be so focused on what she wants, that she doesn't really care!
- InvisigothLv 71 decade ago
why does she not want your partner there?
if she has a good reason for not wanting your partner there then you acknowledge her reason and go to her wedding without your partner.
if she has a spoiled brat reason for not wanting your partner there, then her refusing to allow the partner is actually to punish you for something and you have to decide if you are going to have a come to Jesus meeting with her and tell her the facts of life and how things are now and insist on your partner going to the wedding or if you are going to go to the wedding without your partner or if you're going to not go to the wedding.
You're the only one who can make the call not to go. IF you decide not to go, then you tell her that you are teaching her about loyalty to a partner in a committed relationship and that you don't allow ANYONE from outside to undermine the relationship and that means passing on some social obligations when the partner has been so rudely and unjustly snubbed. (this argument WILL NOT work if you were cheating on her other parent with this person. It will come off like hypocrisy then and you would look foolish and powerless)
talk to her and find out why she doesn't want your partner there. LISTEN to her and then take your cues from that.
- 1 decade ago
I would go but...
before the wedding I would make it quite clear that her wedding is NOT the venue for her to publicly make a statement as to whether she approves of your partner or not...she has no right to approve or disapprove...and that it is a hurtful thing she has done to you personally....if that doesn't sway her still go, heck it is your child but up to you if you attend the reception afterward...perhaps just for the initial dances when the bride & groom arrive, then quietly go.
Your partner should be understanding and not make issue of your attending since it is your daughter.
Hopefully she will not be in the same boat years down the road if her daughter or son tell her 'No, he or she is NOT invited to my wedding'....Karma tho does hit ya hard when you least expect it...Life's lessons can be very hard.....good luck.
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- Avis BLv 61 decade ago
A Bride and Groom should NEVER invite anyone to their wedding that makes them feel uncomfortable or unhappy or angry.
Would you invite a swarm of bees to a picnic?
Weddings are all about decisions so accept your daughter's decision, and maybe some day she will tell you why your partner was not invited to the wedding.
Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant
- Anonymous1 decade ago
This is easy you go but don't bring your partner...
Your daughter comes first and it is her show.
But first you should sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her. Explain that while she may not approve, that your partner is very important in your life and you would like them to share important life events with that person. But if your daughter still says no then you should attend the wedding without the partner. Plain and simple.
- Eve RLv 51 decade ago
It's her wedding, therefor any decisions are hers to make. Your her mother, therefor you must go. Politely tell your partner that she/he isnt invited to the wedding and that you are so sorry for your daughters behavior but you support her on her big day...
- miabellaLv 71 decade ago
Then dont upset her by insisting he goes, this is your daughter we are talking about and its not about you or your partner.
Explain to him, it could be a daughter dad thing and as a man he should understand and bow out.
- 1 decade ago
respect her decision. you might not like it but its her wedding, depending on why she doesn't want your partner there you might be able to get her to change her mind, otherwise accept her wishes and don't. my mother is not allowed to bring her husband to mine and if she does she won't be allowed on the premises. i'd hate for my mother to miss my wedding but i refuse to have him there. so accept her wishes or try to change her mind i think those are your only choices. good luck.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I can't really give an answer without knowing the story. It's not to be nosy, but there are situations where you or she may be in the right/wrong and I can't really tell at the moment...