It is healthy to revert to being strangers after a failed relationship? What's the best way to handle that?
We discussed getting back together (and slept together, I'm afraid) but history repeated itself and we decided it wasn't a good idea to try again. I've had trouble moving on and it was his suggestion that in order for both of us to completely 'heal' we should sever all contact with one another for the forseeable future. It's only been just over a week since we last spoke and I'm summoning every bit of willpower I have not to phone him. He said that I shouldn't be too upset as he doubts this will last forever and he hopes a time will come where we might exchange the odd text or email, or even meet up as friends in a group with others - I clung to this hope at the time but do actually find his words a bit patronising.
I was wondering if it's really healthy to ignore someone and revert to being strangers after a bad break-up and failed relationship. I must admit, that however much I still think of him, and however hard it is - not contacting him probably IS for the best for the time being. I think it's sad when you're in a relatively long-term relationship with someone, loved them, and they were an extension of yourself and then you revert to being complete strangers. Is this really the best course of action? Is it only painful because its still so recent? Will he really ever contact me in the future? Eventually will I just not care either way?
Thanks in advance.
I accept that it's really early days (since the relationship ended and we last spoke) - I get obsessed with checking his myspace to see who has left comments (he used to constantly laud his exes over me and make out that they all still had feelings for him)... I just look forward to a time when I no longer care. At the moment it hurts to think that we may never speak again - though my friends and family have all said that they hope this WILL BE the case.
I know that when I think about things rationally it wasn't my fault how things turned out. He destroyed all my confidence and was somehow able to make out that everything was my fault (Hey! It was acceptable for him to 'check out other women' and point out 'hot women' when I was there, because apparently this only bothered me because of my 'low self esteem' - yes, his words)... But, at my lowest moments I do miss him and wonder how he's coping with the end of the relationship too.