Can your children cost you a friendship?

It was my sons birthday a few weeks ago. We were supposed to meet one of my friends at a theme park. I became very sick throughout the night and had to cancel. "My friend" said that her neice really wanted my son to come along and "what was I going to do with him anyway?" I asked her if we could postpone it for another time and she seemed so disappointed that I went ahead and made arrangements to send my son to meet her with my very helpful neighbor. She took my son for me and "my friend" never met up with her. When I finally spoke to her I yelled at her. I didn't even get to see my child on his birthday because of it. It 's been three months now and she won't even speak to me. Her husband even became very ill and I called her to say i was thinking of them, no return call. Now whenever our friends get together, they don't invite me if she's going to be there. Even the girl who was my maid of honor said she wasn't going to take sides. I don't think I'm wrong here. Any advice?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If she was your real friend she would take your son to the amusement park. A true friend does not act like that. She should understand your situation and act like an adult. I think it is time to let her go and move on.

  • 1 decade ago

    Children dont cost you a friendship. a friend can cost you a friendship. Putting innocent children aside. If your sick and you or your son cant meet her and her neice then these are things that, as a friend, i would not question. I would say "gosh...thats a bummer."...or..."Gosh, you must be really sick...i'll come pick him up and take him out".....If your friend was a friend then she would think of things like this...there not big sacrafices to make.

    I think you were right to yell at her. Personally i would be less agressive and more assertive. But you were right in telling her the truth. I like that in friends.

    All in all. A child will not cost you a friendship in this case. It is simply the level of maturity your friend is at and a sign for you to find friends who understand you.

    My mother always said: "to have a friend. You must be a friend"

  • _
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    No, I don't think it was your child's fault! I think your ex-friend has some issues. She sounds childish. She should respect you and your health. A real friend would. You had the courtesy to cancel- not just not show up like she did. It's been three months, I think it's time to let her go and chalk it up to her bad attitude. The woman was probably using you to make herself feel better. This seems blown out of proportion but she's probably holding a grudge because you yelled at her. It sounds like she's the child! Really, just spend time with the people who show affection in return- like your son.

  • 1 decade ago

    if you really want her as a friend, send her a letter, apologize for yelling, explain you were sick and very disappinted that you couldn't join in the birthday plans. Sometimes you have to be the one to put forth the effort and if that doesn't work, then she is no longer in your circle of friends. Maybe one of your other friends could talk to her too.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I would go to her house and ask why and sort things out. Do you always cancel when they make arrangements? If you do maybe they are sick of hearing your excuses. You should apologise for yelling at her, maybe she has a excuse also. I wouldn't go asking people why it is best to confront her yourself and don't have any one else involved.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its not your child which cost you the relationship. I think you should be a little more introspective before you start using your child as a crutch in dealing with social networks. He didn't do anything to cause these problems so why do you feel it's appropriate to thrust him in the middle?

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You shouldn't have yelled at her. At the end of the day he's YOUR son and YOU made the decision so what did you yell at her for? She has every right to blow you out. I would too, sorry.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    listen mate i dont think your wrong either

    i mean think about it from your kids perspective on his birthday and so disapointed

    i think anyone would be angry but its good to see that you have been able to get over it and move on..

    it might take a bit of time for them to move on to

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If she were truly your friend, she would have understood that being sick, you were unable to go to the theme park. She was rude and mean. I would say that she showed you her true colors. You have to give up on her.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    unfortunatly for you the person uve annoyed it very stubborn! how much does this friendship mean to you? if its worth you grovelling or begging than do so if not dont do so and try and move on this women sounds nasty! but its not ur childs fault!

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