Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How does a person deal with a boss who is a control freak?

The lady I work with seems to think that she is so far above me that I am not suppose to question anything she does or says. I acutally have more experince and training in our line of work.

it is in a hospital and to protect the patients, I feel I have to say something at times.

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    What should you know if you're the victim of an abusive boss? Here are today's five tips.

    1. Identify the behavior.

    There are all kinds of abusive bosses. The Institute classifies them a few different ways.

    There are the constant critics who use put-downs, insults and name-calling. They may use aggressive eye contact to intimidate.

    There are also two-headed snakes who pretend to be nice, while all the while trying to sabotage you.

    Then there are the gatekeepers -- people who are obsessed with control -- who allocate time, money and staffing to assure their target's failure. Control freaks ultimately want to control your ability to network in the company or to let your star shine.

    Another type is the screaming Mimis who are emotionally out of control and explosive.

    2. Don't take it lying down.

    If your boss has a difficult management style, you don't have to let their bad behavior go. You can respond -- just remember to stay professional.

    So, if your boss insults you or puts you down, Susan Futterman, author of "When You Work for a Bully" and the founder of MyToxicBoss.com, suggests responding with something like, "In what way does calling me a moron or an idiot solve the problem? I think that there's a better way to deal with this."

    If you find out that your boss is bad-mouthing you to higher-ups in the company, confront them directly and professionally. Get the evidence in writing from your source if you can. Then, ask him or her what is causing them to do this.

    You could say, "I've been hearing from other people in the company that you're not happy with my work, you and I know that this isn't the case and I want to talk about how we can fix this."

    CNNfn's Gerri Willis shares five tips on how to deal with an abusive boss.

    If your boss has been defaming you, that's illegal. You may want to consult an attorney.

    If your boss is a control freak who's breathing down your neck, you should address it. Say, "I can't function effectively if you're going to be micromanaging me and looking over my shoulder all the time. If I'm doing something fundamentally wrong, let's talk about it. But this isn't working."

    If someone screams at you, don't be a doormat. If you've made a mistake, acknowledge it. But let your boss know that they're creating a difficult work environment. Even if you haven't made a mistake, you may want to calmly ask what they're upset about and if you can address it.

    3. Take notes.

    Documenting your boss's bad behavior is key for two reasons, according to Futterman.

    First, you might not even realize the extent of the problem. Futterman explains, "Taken in isolation, these events may seem trivial, but taken as a whole, it often becomes more clear what's actually going on. Some victims may be in denial or discount these events as isolated incidents. Your written records can document how severe the situation is."

    And, of course, if you decide to take legal action down the line, you may need the information. It's best to document these incidents as soon as possible so they're fresh in your mind.

    Documentation is also important if you plan to report the behavior to your boss's boss or to your company's human resources department. And don't dismiss the idea of taking the bull by the horns and working toward a solution.

    Try arranging a face-to-face meeting with your boss. Tell them you want to discuss the problems you've encountered because you want to resolve them. Chances are often slim that this will work, however. If they reject the opportunity to discuss things with you, add that to your documentation.

    4. Know when it's too much.

    Bosses may exhibit bad behavior sometimes. Hey, no one is perfect, not even bosses. But if your boss is abusing you, that's a problem.

    The problem takes on greater urgency if the abuse starts to make you feel bad. If you chronically suffer high blood pressure that started only when you began working for your boss; or you feel nauseous the night before the start of the work week; or if all your paid vacation days have been used up for mental health breaks.

    When the bullying has had a prolonged affect on your health or your life outside of work, it's time to get out. It's also time to leave if your confidence or your usual exemplary performance has been undermined.

    Ironically, targets of abusive bosses tend to be high achievers, perfectionists and workaholics. Often bully bosses try to mask their own insecurities by striking out.

    5. Control your destiny.

    Even after you leave your nightmare boss, you'll still have to explain why you left to potential new employers.

    Futterman advises against dramatizing your old work situation. One way to gracefully sidestep the issue: say you and your manager had a longstanding disagreement over the most effective way of getting things done and you thought the most professional way to resolve it was to move on.

    "You certainly don't want to start recalling and recounting the abuse you suffered. You'll inevitably get upset and that's not the way you want to handle a job interview," she says.

    Try to control the interview situation to the extent you can. Don't give your abusive boss as a reference but rather someone else with whom you worked previously. Another good choice might be a colleague or a peer you're on good terms with or someone who can speak about you professionally.

    Also, if you only worked for your bullying boss for a short time, you may want to consider leaving that job off your resume altogether.

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  • 7 years ago

    My brother just dealt with one and he was abused. Why? Because bosses sucks. That's why I'm glad I don't have a job and I'm drawing SS due to disability. Working at home as a business owner is way better than those 40 hours of slavery work week. I worked there before and it was a living hell. I don't care if people think I'm lazy and need a job. I don't need a job. I need a business of my own and you should too. You can be your own boss and much happier. :-))

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Control freaks must not be confronted but deal with in a very simple manner: prove them wrong often enough and you set the stage for telling them to leave you to do your job because you know more. So-called "control freaks" are insecure and must impose themselves on others by virtue of a position they hold, since she lacks experience or knowledge but has a position to hold on to. I suspect she feels threatened andinadequate and incompetent for the position she holds and they must SHOW "Who The Boss Is" to everyone as a constant reminder to herself and to give a good accounting of "controlling the workers" to her superiors (who probably make fun of her behind her back and she senses this, too).

    MICRO management doesn't work and she has yet to learn this. You must find a subtle way of letting her know that her actions are disrespectful toward others who are professionals in their own or shared field of work, and that it leads to morale problems at the work site. She must somehow be made to realize that people are not happy with her because they come to work and not be bullied or to deal with her mercurial disposition from day to day. Once she respects you for what you do and respect that you KNOW what you are doing, she will not want to make you into a carbon copy of herself.

    You are certainly not in an enviable position. It ain't easy working under those circumstances. Good luck and very best wishes.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, you continue to care for the patients and risk getting a report on your record, which would not be bad, for then you are entitled to a hearing and could present your side to an unbiased group. Or, you could find another job. But, you'll find people like her wherever you go.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Politics and a control freak make for formidable foes, since you have already expressed to others your thoughts, if nothing changes shortly ---- look for another job---- this will eventually catch up to her, but you may become a stressed,frustrated causality prior to this happening

    Source(s): hard knocks univ
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  • 1 decade ago

    Some of us are born to be a leader and the other of us are born to be executant!!!

    I want to say that is important to stay yourself and not to change anythink about your behavior, but to talk to your boss and make her feel like you feel(give her example an make her empatiziei to your situation///comunication in a conflict is everything)

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Kill them with kindness. Seriously, HR will side with management 95% of the time. If the situation becomes intolerable, then just slip out the back door and don't make a fuss...just move on.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I USED TO WORK IN THE CORRECTIONAL SYSTEM OF NY STATE.

    EVERYONE WANTED TO BE BETTER THAN I

    THE COMMISSIONER CARED LESS OF ABUSES AND OR EGOTISTICAL SELF CENTERED SUPERVISOR, AND DOWN THE LINE RIGHT DOWN TO THE HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION, WHOM COULD NEVER FIND THE SATE WRONG.

    BEST ADVISE IS, TO YES MEM HER TO DEATH, DO NOT QUESTION HER, IN FACT WHEN SHE GIVES YOU AN ORDER ASK HER FOR ANOTHER AT THE SAME TIME.

    YOU WILL THEN NOT BE ABLE TO FULLY COMPLETE ETHER FOR SHE OVER LOADED YOU.

    SHE WILL ETHER GET THE MESSAGE OR THE HIGHER UP WILL COME TO CORRECT THE PROBLEM SINCE THEY WILL BE THE ONE AT LOST.

    Source(s): EX-STATE EMLOYEE
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  • 1 decade ago

    Go to her superior. Tell them what's going on. If nothing happens, look for another job, elsewise you'll never be happy where you are.

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  • 1 decade ago

    So, say something. The worst she could do is rebuke you in front of your colleagues. If not, just approach her and try something else.

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