Why is it that men, and I'm not refering to teens, need to be in a relationship?

Since my husband's death, I've been amazed at what I've observed. Men do not leave one relationship unless there is another one waiting in the wings. They must value relationships differently from me. Here is why. You see this all the time in movies and in tv shows. A man leaves a woman for another woman. Something goes wrong, and he wants so badly to go back to the first woman. If I left a man I was with, it would be because I really want to leave. If I left him for another man, and then the other man left me, it wouldn't cause me to need the first man again. These would be two separate issues, not one.


I am seeing a pattern with the answers that are coming in: MEN DON'T WANT TO ALONE. I would rather be alone than be in a relationship that should be over. Guys, it's good, often times to be alone. It gives you a chance to really look at yourself. It is HEALTHY to look at yourself!!

Update 2:

There was a typo, excuse me please. I meant say MEN DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE, i guess.

16 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    There's something in each of us which seeks to be close to others. Many women can satisfy this need by friendships with other women. Most men, however, view other men as either competitors or as someone who can help them succeed at whatever they want to be successful.

    This causes men, particularly in Western societies, to view their significant female other as the one person on whom they can always depend to be supportive and non-competitive with them. Thus the multi-level attachment.

    Yet men are also genetically driven to desire women who are physically attractive ( which is a biological indicator that such women can bear children easily, whether children are wanted or not ). Many, many times this conflict between the need for supportive relationship and the desire for attractive, fertile women explodes into broken relationships, broken homes, and broken lives ( including physical problems, largely due to stress ).

    A woman who truly wants to hold onto the man she has chosen would be wise to take care of herself physically and keep herself as attractive to her male partner as possible, and to NEVER, ever use sex as a weapon!

    Yes, there are numbers of exceptions to these rules, but any man who is being totally honest will agree that there is ( or has ) been an internal battle between his need to be close to his significant other and the all but overwhelming desire for other women.

  • 1 decade ago

    I made this observation too a couple of years back. I personally think its mainly lazy or insecure men that do this. Here's why:

    If a man is unhappy with his woman and stays with her even though he doesn't relly want to, waiting for someone else to come along, thats lazy. Also selfish cus he should let the woman move on and find sum1 better instead of making her think theres a chance by staying with her. (I know tons of guy friends that do this and I hate it).

    Also, some guys are so insecure that they can't do without having a girlfriend and would just wait for sum1 better to come along instead of leaving his current girlfriend.

    This is the best I could explain my interpretation of this behaviour.

  • 1 decade ago

    I can't tell neither because I don't need to do that, but what I can tell is that it is good for me when a girl leaves me (not the other way) it is good for me to be able to project the love I'm still feeling onto another girl, woman. It helps me cope with it.

    Men are only helpless when in love by the way. Maybe we're not all jerks...

  • 1 decade ago

    I think some guys just don't like to be alone so they will move from one female to another.

    As for them moving from one and it not working out so they think they can go back to the first. I think that's crap, and its because females let them do this.

    They probably didn't even really want the second female but she was different and new from the first so they needed that little break with someone new and different.

    Its not right now, but there are women out there that let his happen so guys think its ok!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well when guys are little they have there mothers to cook, clean, pick up after them and tell them what to do. So when they get older they still need someone to look after them, maybe not so much as the cook and clean (I hope) but to look out for there best interest. So I think they would need to have someone there to help them figure stuff out and keep them on track, just like there mother's did when they were little. That is why in most relationships women look after the money for the home they make sure all the bills are paid, so in short they are looking after their guys best interests and well being as well as there own. Not all guys are helpless but they do like to have someone there to look after them especially when they are sick.

  • Hez
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    im not a man so i probably dont have the insight youre looking for, but i definitly see what you mean and i think it is totally true. i think being in a relationship as a grown man is a measure of success as well as companionship, sex and all of the other things. i think there is this unspoken pressure for a man to be in a committed relationship as well as have a good job, a house, car and so on. its definitly not healthy and its a little scary, i have never given it much thought until you brought it up.

  • 1 decade ago

    Men have one relationship right after another because (for the most part) they are helpless creatures who cannot truly take care of themselves and they are scared of being alone and lonely.

  • 1 decade ago

    No one likes being alone. Its all good when we are healthy and happy but when we are down and lonely etc., everyone wants someone to be with them through the hard times.

  • 1 decade ago

    it's not just the movies, when I was younger, I wouldn't leave my guy unless there was another guy to fill his place, And I'm a gurl! But you always think that the grass is greener, until you actually have to smell it, then you find out what was keeping it so green! (HORSE-CRAP)

  • 1 decade ago

    So your question is why do men feel the need to cheat?

    Because women are dumb enough to allow it. Men will only do what they are allowed to do and what they can get away with. When more women realize that, more men will stay home with their wives.

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