• Would you keep a man who has this 'baggage'?

    I'm the so-called "a trust-fund baby", financially secure but not rich (don't envy me; I got it because my mom died in an accident). Meaning I can rent (not buy) a flat in a good neighborhood and have a holiday once a year (nothing fancy, tho'). I have a job as an administration staff as... show more
    I'm the so-called "a trust-fund baby", financially secure but not rich (don't envy me; I got it because my mom died in an accident). Meaning I can rent (not buy) a flat in a good neighborhood and have a holiday once a year (nothing fancy, tho'). I have a job as an administration staff as well. Now I'm in a pretty serious relationship with a researcher. As he's working in a university instead of in industry, he's not rich either. I don't mind that. The problem is this: He's half-Japanese, and his widowed mother lives in Japan (no possibility of her coming here). He has recently told me that he has to fully support her, because she has done everything to ensure him a good education in the West, and now she doesn't have enough saving to keep her tiny home unless he helps her. He told me so that I can decide if I want to continue our relationship despite this, as this means that I have to "share" with his mother. I don't want to sound shallow, but this has rather taken me aback. He's a kind and steady man who has promised to prioritize me, but - because he doesn't want to let his mother to lack anything either - this means that we're not going to be as comfortable as I've imagined. Without this problem, we would be able to buy a house and have no worries about bills. He has an elder brother who doesn't want to divide the burden, but he has this sense-of-duty that makes me rather worried for the future. Were you in my position, would you take this man despite his 'baggage'?
    12 answers · 17 hours ago
  • The best way to respond to an insulting wife?

    A lot of people know about my struggles with my wife. Perhaps the worst of it are the insults that affect my self esteem. Comments such as stupid, idiot and useless. I have to do my best to try and be happy with life but it is very hard sometimes. I read a website that said the best way to deal with an insulting... show more
    A lot of people know about my struggles with my wife. Perhaps the worst of it are the insults that affect my self esteem. Comments such as stupid, idiot and useless. I have to do my best to try and be happy with life but it is very hard sometimes. I read a website that said the best way to deal with an insulting wife is to ignore the comments and carry on as normal. Because apparently a wife is so upset subconsciously that they need to lash out and drag the husband down until he is so unhappy that he gives her an easy reason to leave. Now that might be well and good, but I really don't think it will assist in behaviour changes. Yes behaviour change can only come about from the person doing the wrong thing. Also, I feel like it's a bad example for my son. He is too young to understand but what happens when he is older and he sees his mother calling his father stupid and dumb? I might end up with a son that doesn't respect me and joins in calling me stupid. I don't expect my wife to change any time soon. I can try to ignore the nasty comments. But I need something to change :(
    33 answers · 2 days ago
  • Is it wrong to do this to my husband?

    Sometimes I slip tablets into my husband's coffee or tea to help stimulate him to have sex with me. Sometimes he's too tired or never aroused We had a dry spell where we would have sex once a month. Now with using the tablets we have sex 3-5 days a week. One of my girlfriend's suggested this and I... show more
    Sometimes I slip tablets into my husband's coffee or tea to help stimulate him to have sex with me. Sometimes he's too tired or never aroused We had a dry spell where we would have sex once a month. Now with using the tablets we have sex 3-5 days a week. One of my girlfriend's suggested this and I feel good about it. But another friend of mine said its immoral and said I should divorce him for not naturally being able to have sex as much as I desire. Am I horrible wife?
    57 answers · 3 days ago
  • If your house was on fire and you could save your child or husband/wife, which would you choose?

    I would definitely try to save my child first and then my husband. I would die trying.
    I would definitely try to save my child first and then my husband. I would die trying.
    23 answers · 2 days ago
  • Should I tell my ex’s wife he cheated on her?

    I'd been in a secret relationship with my boss for for 6 months. I'm 24, he's 46. I wanted to be with him properly and he said he was going to leave his wife but after he kept making excuses about it not being the right time for her and his kids etc I told him either he told her or I will. Then he... show more
    I'd been in a secret relationship with my boss for for 6 months. I'm 24, he's 46. I wanted to be with him properly and he said he was going to leave his wife but after he kept making excuses about it not being the right time for her and his kids etc I told him either he told her or I will. Then he decided not to leave his wife and he's fired me from my job citing poor performance. Should I tell his wife what's been going on? My worry is she won't believe me and she'll just think I'm bitter about being fired.
    16 answers · 16 hours ago
  • My boyfrnd of 4 years says he wants to move together first before marriage, but im 4mths pregnant and want marriege before the baby. Advise?

    Best answer: Whelp, looks as though you guys don't have the same goals in life and have reached an impasse. Honestly, neither of you are "wrong" here. It's not unreasonable of him to want to move in with you and see how things go before he makes the commitment of marriage, and it's not wrong of you to... show more
    Best answer: Whelp, looks as though you guys don't have the same goals in life and have reached an impasse.

    Honestly, neither of you are "wrong" here. It's not unreasonable of him to want to move in with you and see how things go before he makes the commitment of marriage, and it's not wrong of you to feel that after 4-5 years he ought to know for sure by now if you're marriage material or not. (Although it's one thing to say "We've been together almost five years, what's he waiting for???" when you're 27, and quite another when you're 19. How old are you guys?)

    But:

    "Im over there everyday cleaning doing laundy we making love its basically like I live there but he says its not how it would be if we actually atayed under one roof."

    Here's your answer, dear. You've already given him the benefits of a Wifey without him having to do the work to commit to you as a wife. Why buy the cow when you're already giving him the milk for free?

    Forget about a marriage and a wedding for now. Concentrate on your health and your baby's arrival, and maybe start looking into lawyers to get your legal ducks in a row so that you know he'll pay child support/etc. if necessary. Because, like you said, if 4 years and a pregnancy haven't lit a fire under his butt to propose to you by now, then it probably ain't gonna happen.
    29 answers · 3 days ago
  • Vegetarian and nonvegetarian marriage- I need help/advice?

    OK here’s the thing I stopped eating meat three years ago for moral reasons. In the last year I’ve become more militant and more against meat fish animal flesh. When I got married my husband after year he moved into my house that I bought by myself before we were married and I asked him one thing is if you wants... show more
    OK here’s the thing I stopped eating meat three years ago for moral reasons. In the last year I’ve become more militant and more against meat fish animal flesh. When I got married my husband after year he moved into my house that I bought by myself before we were married and I asked him one thing is if you wants to eat meat to eat it outside of the house and not in front of me. I told him I don’t want any meat in my refrigerator or on my pots/pans or plates or silverware. I had a pot that I saved from when I used to cook meat and I told him if he insists on cooking meat to use that pan and it still decent pan and last night he refused to cook his meat in the pan I asked him to and he cooked it in my new frying pan I got so upset I just didn’t say anything I walked out and went to the movies. How can I help him come to a compromise because my house was the only place I had it was my sanctuary to get rid to get free for meat because there is meat everywhere except my house. How can I make him understand? (PS he knew all this before he married me
    18 answers · 2 days ago
  • Should a wife who Works Full Time, Have to do household chores when the husband does not work?

    Now let me start off with before this year My husband held a full time job, where after our child was born he supported me for three years; until he has shoulder surgery and get a part time job. after his recovery he return to his job and I return to my part time. He however grew tired of his workplace and the fact... show more
    Now let me start off with before this year My husband held a full time job, where after our child was born he supported me for three years; until he has shoulder surgery and get a part time job. after his recovery he return to his job and I return to my part time. He however grew tired of his workplace and the fact he never had time to play games,or attend tournaments for.40k. He then asked me to find a full time Job so.he could leave his job. I did, however over an.hour so we sold our home, to help my now homeless parents buy a home.He Did Leave his Job.He gets to attend every 40k event and gaming event he wants too now that his time his free. It worked for a.few months until our vehicle had broken down .He then stated he wants $500 from each of my paycheck to put twords repairs and afterwards he will then put it in savings. He has slipped up.a few times.claiming he is so frustrated with not having his own money. So I assume the $500 is really so he can have money. That leaves me with Bill money and grocery money by the end of it all.Now flash forward to recent times, I just took on a new job paying $2 more then the previous one. it'll be nice to get some help around the house. then proceeded to set rules that I and our daughter must follow. He is sick of being the only person doing work around the house, That it's always him, and everyone is lazy.Anyway tho I work full time to support him should I be the one to take over household chores, while he works Outside?
    25 answers · 3 days ago
  • Financial imbalance in marriage, what do do?

    My husband and I have been together for 6 years, we don't have a kid yet but planning to have one very soon. Our relationship has up and downs just like others, we love each other but lately I've been feeling a lot stress from work and life in general. My husband lost his job 2 years ago, ever since... show more
    My husband and I have been together for 6 years, we don't have a kid yet but planning to have one very soon. Our relationship has up and downs just like others, we love each other but lately I've been feeling a lot stress from work and life in general. My husband lost his job 2 years ago, ever since I've been supporting us financially, lucky enough I got a well paid job. I'm nearly 10 years younger than him, it's a bit tough that I have to be the one supporting everything financially for two. I feel I'm losing my freedom because I'm working too hard, no weekend or holiday is normal for me, I'm doing two jobs to keep us going. He's trying his best I know, but definitely not in the right position to earn enough money to support the family. I understand once you're married, everything should be shared equally. Sadly my family and I have always been the weather part, now I'm reaching to a point that I'm tired of paying for two, I know this can be very selfish thinking. That if I was single, or with someone else who is in better financial situation, I could live with a lot more freedom in life. Now I'm looking after two. once we have a baby, I have to look after 3. I'm only 30, I don't want my life get stuck like this, am I being too selfish feeling that I shouldn't pay for two in a relationship?
    19 answers · 2 days ago
  • I feel like the woman I nanny for is insecure about me and thinks I want her husband?

    So I’ve been a nanny for a family of four kids for almost a year now. They’re very nice people and I always felt comfortable being in their home. They both work full time, so I hardly see either one of them. Lately, if I even say one word to the husband when he gets off work, because I’m trying to avoid seeming... show more
    So I’ve been a nanny for a family of four kids for almost a year now. They’re very nice people and I always felt comfortable being in their home. They both work full time, so I hardly see either one of them. Lately, if I even say one word to the husband when he gets off work, because I’m trying to avoid seeming rude the wife immediately jumps in and ends the conversation. For example, he told me congratulations for getting into nursing school right in front of her and she interrupted and told him to go outside with the kids. I’ve never even been slightly flirty with him or inappropriate at all and I’m also in a happy relationship, so I’m confused why she’s acting like this all of a sudden. I’ve always been really respectful and careful not to open any doors and I even have his phone number and have never once text or called him even about the kids. I also talk to his wife and would only contact him if there was an emergency. I am 22 and attractive, but I don’t get why she would’ve hired me in the first place if she’s insecure about me. I feel weird completely ignoring him altogether, but I almost feel like I need to. Any suggestions?
    19 answers · 2 days ago
  • Just discovered stepson speaks no English?

    So, I recently got married and my stepson is moving in with us. I was startled to discover he speaks no English...his Dad is fluent. To make matters worse, his Dad is going on a business trip and I'd already planned a trip down to my grandparent's to introduce my new (step)son. How do I supervise a teen... show more
    So, I recently got married and my stepson is moving in with us. I was startled to discover he speaks no English...his Dad is fluent. To make matters worse, his Dad is going on a business trip and I'd already planned a trip down to my grandparent's to introduce my new (step)son. How do I supervise a teen I can't communicate with? This also sounds like it wold be scary for him. Am I right to think I should have been warned about the language barrier?
    13 answers · 24 hours ago
  • Should a woman who knows what she wants most of the time (in life and in daily matters) marry a man who likes to be called daddy during...?

    Best answer: That's between her and her man.
    Best answer: That's between her and her man.
    12 answers · 1 day ago
  • How do I know I’m being manipulated or if I’m wrong?

    Hey guys ! I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half . Things happened quick we were moved in together in a month . I have two teens . When we first moved in he was nasty to my son . Even made him walk outside 3 hours after school . After he moved out he started attacking my daughter accusing her of... show more
    Hey guys ! I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half . Things happened quick we were moved in together in a month . I have two teens . When we first moved in he was nasty to my son . Even made him walk outside 3 hours after school . After he moved out he started attacking my daughter accusing her of everything he said my son did . He apologized to my son and blamed it on her . Honestly I don’t believe what he says . He even took a lie decetor and failed . Said because English was his second language. He got my fired from a 100k job I worked my tail off at for 12 years . He said he did it to protect me . Cause i was stressed . Every time I approach him he says how much he loves me and my kids are liars. He never wavers in how much he loves me . Maybe I’m wrong maybe my kids are lying . We just had a baby and I don’t know if I’m crazy .
    12 answers · 21 hours ago
  • (to parents) Would you urge your son to do this ? would advice your son to do the same thing ?

    I'm 37 years old and unemployed. Yet, some of my relatives keep urging me to get married and have children though I have no job to feed myself and my family. They say I would get a job sooner or later but marriage is once in a life time and I have to do it quick because of my age. If your son went through the... show more
    I'm 37 years old and unemployed. Yet, some of my relatives keep urging me to get married and have children though I have no job to feed myself and my family. They say I would get a job sooner or later but marriage is once in a life time and I have to do it quick because of my age. If your son went through the same experience as mine, would you urge him to do the same thing ? If you wouldn't, can I conclude that my relatives were insincere and don't give a damn about me ?
    11 answers · 16 hours ago
  • How to gain my wife's trust post domestic abuse?

    To make a long story short, i hit my wife several times over the course of two months. I had personal issues she wasnt aware of and it got worse when her parents got into a conflict with me etc. So now she's gone for her own safety and she is in alot of emotional pain. We talk for hours each day on the phone... show more
    To make a long story short, i hit my wife several times over the course of two months. I had personal issues she wasnt aware of and it got worse when her parents got into a conflict with me etc. So now she's gone for her own safety and she is in alot of emotional pain. We talk for hours each day on the phone but she is scared of me. She doesnt want to see me or be in a room alone with me ( thats how serious things are ). I got some treatment and im following her instructions on how to spend my time alone constructivly etc. Is there anything i can do to gain her trust again ? Time is running and we miss alot of the things we did together. I dont need any advice or criticisim about me; just advise on how i can gain her trust..i know im a monster cause ive been made this way by my alcoholic father abusing me and beating me as a kid and juvenile.
    25 answers · 3 days ago
  • I can't bear the thought of hurting my ex (father of my children) by moving on because I know he still loves me. Single for life I think?

    Too much hurt has already happened for me to make it worse by finding someone else.
    Too much hurt has already happened for me to make it worse by finding someone else.
    11 answers · 1 day ago