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  • What to do for her birthday?

    Here's my dilemma.  This year my wife turns 50 years old in Dec and for several months she's been hinting, well telling me, that she wants me to do something big for her 50th b-day.  My problem is this. Although she wants me to do something big for her 50th several years ago when I turned 50 all she gave me was a card and a hat.  I didn't get a special meal cooked.  I didn't get a dinner out.  And nor did I get a big celebration with all my friends or family.  I got a card and a hat.  I'm not saying that I won't do something, but I'm not going to go all out for her when she didn't go all out for me.  Yeah, I'll probably take her to dinner but I'm not renting a hall and inviting all her friends for a surprise party or anything like that.  Should I do more for her birthday than she did for me?  Even dinner is more than what I got.

    11 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 weeks ago
  • Wife didn't come to my daughter's gender reveal.  What should I do?

    Last Wed my wife had a minor surgical procedure on her back that lasted all of an hour.  She's been home recuperating since then.  My biological daughter, my wife's step-daughter is pregnant with my first official biological grandchild.  Sunday was my daughter's gender reveal party which was 1/2 a mile down the street from our house at my sister's house.   Sat my wife and I went out for a while to Target and to get some lunch but come Sunday, 30 minutes before the gender reveal my wife informed me that she was going to take a pain pill and would probably be sleep so she wasn't going to make the party.  She was well enough to go to Target Sat but now well know to ride 1/2 a mile down the street to her own step-daughter's gender reveal.  My wife was woke when I left and was woke when I got back a little more than an hour later.  Am I right to assume that she just didn't want to go and used the excuse about the pain pill making her sleepy?  I would have or could have taken  chair to my sister's place so she could have sat down the entire time.  How should I feel about this?  Now every time her family has an event I'm always there even when I don't want to go.  Why, because it's family.  I could understand if this was a friend or co-worker's party but it was her very own step daughter.

    21 AnswersFamily2 weeks ago
  • Am I being shorted OT hors on my job?

    My job has been backed up on work for several weeks now and 2 weeks in a row they have made it mandatory we work a full day on Sat.  This past week I was scheduled for PTO which was approved due to my wife's surgery.  I worked a total of 59 hours but when my manager approved my time I only got approved for 51 hours because he said that you should never take PTO on a week you have OT because those hours get pulled from your OT hours and you only get paid straight time.  So look at it this way.  Say you worked a full 40 hours but 8 of those hours were for a day of you had been approved for and had the PTO hours to cover.  You were required to work a full day on that Sat totaling 8 hours.  On paper you should have 48 hours.  40 straight time and 8 OT.  When you get your check you only got 40 hours of straight time because they pulled the 8 hours of PTO from your 8 hours of OT.  How is that fair?

    6 AnswersLaw & Ethics2 weeks ago
  • Why does she make everything difficult?

    My wife is home after having a minor procedure done on her back Wed.  We're both working from home so we're here all day everyday together.  We're constantly getting Amazon pkgs delivered several times a week.  Today while out running an errand for lunch I walk back into the house and my wife is laying on the sofa and she tells me that there's an Amazon pkg on the porch for me.  She knew she hadn't ordered anything so she assumed I did and just walked by it and didn't notice it.  I go back outside to the porch and there was a box there.  My lunch break was almost up so I took the box into the bedroom with me and opened it.  Granted it was addressed to Mr and Mrs but since she knew she hadn't ordered anything she didn't bother to go get it from the porch.  I open the box and inside was a nice gift from a woman at our church.  She had placed a nice note to say how much of a pleasure it is to have us as members of the church.  We've been there about 2 years now.  Since I was back on the clock I text my wife to tell her what was in the box and this was her reply.  "You couldn't open it in front of Me after work?"  Firstly, I didn't know who it was from.  It was from Amazon.  Secondly, had I know it was from a church member to the both of us I probably would have given it to my wife anyway and told her to open it and tell me later what was in it.  

    5 AnswersMarriage & Divorce3 weeks ago
  • Is this going a bit too far?

    I do understand that we live in the days of prom-posals and things like that where everything has to be streamed online or made a big deal of.  I think I've heard it all now.  My daughter is pregnant and having my first biological grandchild early next year.  The entire family is excited about it.  Well, she wants one of my sisters, her aunt, and her best friend to be the god-parents.  We're having her gender reveal party Sunday and last night she text me to ask for a unique way to ask them to be her child's god-parents.  I told her my sister in not into all that so she could just ask her.  She said that he best friend wants a "god-parent proposal."  I had never heard of that so I went to YouTube and looked it up and there were a ton of videos for god-parent proposals.  Are you kidding me?  What is this world coming to?  How silly is this?  I couldn't understand why a guy would have to go all out just to ask the girl he was already dating to go to the prom with him.  Now you have to come up with an elaborate way to ask people to be your child's god-parents.  Is this a bit too far?

    8 AnswersFamily3 weeks ago
  • Do people even think before they make a phone call to a company?

    Yes, this may seem like a bit of a rant question but I'm going to ask it anyway.  I work for a patience assistance program for a medical company and we provide insulin free to patients who qualify for it.  Apparently, the company I work for has their hands in a number of products, primarily OTC medications and things.  I just received a call from a woman who stated that she had some throat lozenges that she's had for a while and she didn't know nor could she find the expiration date on them.  And she was wondering if we could help her out.  I mean seriously, throat lozenges?  You called the parent compasny to find the expiration date on them.  She said that she had had them a while and was unsure.  I informed her that if she was unsure about them to just throw them away and purchase more.  How much could a bag of throat lozenges cost, $2?  We apparently also have our hand in Gold Bond foot powder and we'll often get calls from guys about that.  Those are OTC items and do not require a call to the mfg just to find out the exp. date on them.  No, I'm not a money bags myself but if I was unsure about a bag of throat lozenges I found in the back of my cabinet I'd just throw them away and go buy a new bag.  I'm not going to waste my time Googling the mfg to find a customer service number to call about that.  Do people not think when they do stuff like this?  I guess people just have that much time on their hands.

    2 AnswersOther - Business & Finance4 weeks ago
  • Do you have to take it?  (Used stuff)?

    Several months ago my 24 year old daughter surprised me with the news that she's giving my my first biological grandchild.  I come from a large family with 6 other siblings and this will be the family's first and only biological great-grandchild.  I've had full custody of my daughter since she was 2 and I have never scrimped on buying her what she wanted or needed.  As a single dad I prided myself on  giving her the best.  Now that my only daughter is pregnant my oldest sister, who claims to be my daughter's favorite aunt, keeps telling me about a co-worker or friend of hers who has a bunch of baby stuff she's no longer using and wants to give it to me.  Personally I've never been one to use used items and things but every few days or weeks my sister will call me and tell me that this girl has a used changing table she no longer uses and wants to give it to my daughter.  My wife and I have already purchased a crib, car seat, stroller and a few other things for our house so we're not hurting financially but am I obligated to take used furniture?  My sister knows how I am with my daughter and that I'll give her the would but I'm not about to have my grandchild using used furniture.  I don't know the condition of this furniture nor do I care.  Am I being bougie if I don't accept this furniture and why is my sister of the mindset that I need to keep taking what this other girl no longer wants?  Again, my 1st bio grandchild and I want the baby to have all new things.

    24 AnswersFamily1 month ago
  • Do I have to be quiet in my own house?

    As many of you know my step-sons don't like to work.  The youngest is now involved with this Facebook Bingo game where people put their money in with the chance of winning the pot.  He gets a percentage of the winnings.  Lately my wife has been helping him out with the Facebook Live things by moderating some games for him.  Normally when she does a Live game she'll tell me to be quiet and go into the next room.  Today she took a day off work so siting in the living room while I was in the bedroom working, she decided to do a live game.  While on lunch I had a few things on my mind so when I walked into the living room into the kitchen I must have been mumbling, again, mumbling to my self.  Not talking loud or screaming.  She looks up at me and snaps her fingers like I'm a dog or something telling me to shut up so the people on the live game didn't hear me.  First of all I could care less about those people on Facebook trying to will a bingo game.  Secondly, I'm in my house and I'm not going to be silenced like I'm a kid.  My wife is so addicted to FB that she'll drive with it open in her lap constantly looking down.  I've never seen someone so addicted to social media like her.  When I'm working in the bedroom she'll come in there constantly to talk to me or put up laundry or just anything.  

    6 AnswersFamily1 month ago
  • Can you make someone stay?

    My daughter and 2 step sons have an apartment together and have been for a little more than a year now.  For the past 6 or 8 months now the boys refuse to work or bring any money into the apt.  My daughter has a full time job working from home and she said she's tired of paying the bulk of the bills.  They got so far behind on their rent until they were almost evicted and they still haven't gotten caught back up yet.  The boys refuse to work saying they are going to work for "the man" so they are always looking for a side hustle to make money.  My daughter said she was planning to move out and I told her to contact the rental office about taking her name off the lease.  he did and they are willing to do it but they want the boys to come sign a form removing her from any future rent and to show pay stubs that they can afford the apt.  They refuse because they know they can't afford it without her.  Can you make someone stay in an apartment they no longer want to be in?  

    Several months ago my daughter and the youngest step-son went in about bought a big 50" TV for their living room.  Last sat my daughter got home and said the TV was gone.  The step-son had sold it saying that since she was planning on moving out he felt it was within his rights to sell the TV.  They went half and half on the TV and spent about $400 on it.  He sold it for only $200 and finally gave her $100.  The TV was only 3 months old and hasn't depreciated that.  So, he's now going to start selling off

    5 AnswersMarriage & Divorce1 month ago
  • How nosy can one person be?

    My wife is a tough pill to swallow.  It seems that when I have her figured out she does something that throws everything out the window.  Working from home we're on opposite ends of the house.  She's in the kitchen and I'm in the bedroom.  My job requires me to take calls all day so I'm constantly talking.  My wife's job doesn't require phone work.  Yesterday one of my co-workers called me on my cell and she and I talked for a few minutes. After that I got back on work calls.  Later in the day after I got off work my wife looks at me and says, "so, who were you talking to on the phone?"  I looked at her like, "what?"  She heard me on the phone and was curious as to who I was talking to.  I'm talking all day but she singled out one phone call from a co-worker to ask about.  On the contrary, she's not on the phone but when I hear her talking in the kitchen it never crosses my mind to ask her who she was talking too.  We can be sitting on opposite ends of the sofa and her text messages can be going off constantly and it doesn't bother me in the least.  But the minute I get a text msg the first thing out of her mouth is, "who is that?"  Are most women curious to know everything their man is doing or is it just my wife.  I'm 51 and she's turning 50 in a few months.  I'm too old to be playing those, "who was that" game with her.  

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 months ago
  • Simple Question:  Do you know which medication you are taking?

    I work for a patient assistance program with a large medical company and we provide various medications for free to patients in need.  When you call you have to verify certain pieces of information so we can pull up your account.  I just got a call from a lady asking about the status of her application.  She got very irate with me because when I asked which medication she was calling about she said. "I don't know."  I told her we needed to know which medication she was taking and she said she didn't know, her doctor wanted her to take it.  She signed the application so she should know what was prescribed.  My thinking is that if my doctor wanted me to start taking a medication and then if I filled out an application to receive the medication for free I should know what medication I'm taking.   When I mentioned to her that she needed to now which medication her doctor is prescribing she immediately turned that around to say, "are you calling me dumb?"  I told her no, I wasn't calling her dumb but I just needed to know which medication because we do produce more than one.  

    Am I wrong to think that you should know what medication you're taking?  What if your doctor prescribes you cyanide, do you just take it without knowing what it is?

    1 AnswerMedicine2 months ago
  • How would you respond to this comment from your manager?

    Now that we're working from home our team communicates via Skype software with a group chat.  We have a new manager whom none of us have met but he is a stickler for us to remain available to take calls.  Any wrap time longer than 4 minutes he's pinging you.  I had a major accident with a table saw last week where I severely cut my thumb and I was prescribed antibiotics to take 4 times a day.  I have an alarm set on my phone to remind me when it's time to take them.  I'm in one corner of my room at my desk and my medication is on my nightstand next to my bed.  It's now lunch time and he's scheduled 4 people to be at lunch which increases the call volume.  Between calls I put myself on a quick break as to not get a call while I was away from my desk and the minute I come back he send out a group ping to say that we have multiple people out, several on lunch, and 1 on a break.  I replied to the group ping to say that I stepped away for a second to go get my medication.  This was his reply.  "How far is "across your room" 1/4 mile".  Then he follows that up with "JK".  Look, I've never met you but I'm trying not to lose my thumb so if I need to go get my medication and be away from the phones for 20 seconds you're just going to have to deal with that.  How would you or would you even respond to his reply?

    3 AnswersEtiquette2 months ago
  • Why does she think this way?

    Last week I had a major accident using a table saw and severely cut my thumb.  I went to the urgent care the next day and the doctor looked at it, cleaned the wound, and bandaged it up.  Since then I've not had much use of my left hand.  You never know what you can't do until you don't have use of one of your hands.  Simple things like putting on deodorant, holding a glass, or even buttoning or unbuttoning your pants.  I have had to rely on my wife for a number of things. Even cleaning the wound and redressing it each night.  Well, yesterday after dinner I told her I was going to get some gas then stop by my parent's house.  When I got there I decided I just wanted to take a drive to get some fresh air.  She got upset with me claiming that not that my thumb is starting to heal I don't need her as much.  She was pretty upset too.  Did she think I would never regain the use of my hand and that I was to always rely on her to unbutton my pants so I could go to the bathroom?  The accident hasn't prevented me from driving so while I was out I decided to just get some fresh air and she took offense to that.  Why does she think I am only suppose to rely on her for everything now? Eventually my hand will heal and I won't need her for those little things.

    4 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 months ago
  • Will she be upset if I don't . . . . . . .?

    My wife's family has always made birthdays a big event.  So much so that they tend to want to celebrate every year, no matter what year it is.  I come from a larger family and our parent's couldn't afford to throw 7 birthday parties each year.  7 kids in the house.  I'm of the mindset that as a child you celebrate birthdays but then at a certain point you celebrate milestone numbers.  1st, 6th, 10th 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st.  After that I think you just need to celebrate the milestone ones like every 10 years or so.  30, 40, 50, etc.  Well my wife will be 50 this year and she's already dropping hints that she wants me to do something big for her.  The problem is that last year when I turned 50 I got a card and a simple "happy birthday".  I'm not saying that I don't want to do something for her but I'm not throwing a big blowout bash when all I got was a card.  Sure, a nice meal out and a little gift but I'm not renting a hall and inviting all her family and friends to come celebrate.  Given that she's been dropping hints would she be upset if I don't go all out for her given that she didn't go all out for me?

    7 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 months ago
  • Do I really need her permission?

    I come from a large family and we are always gathering at our parent's house on Sundays just to reconnect.  My wife, on the other hand has 2 living sisters, 1 deceased, and both of her parents still living and she hardly goes to visit them even though they all live in the same city.  I have 6 other siblings.  Between us there are 6 grandkids. I have 1 bio daughter and 1 adopted daughter.  My adopted daughter had 3 kids.  My wife's son has 2 kids of his own so I "technically" have 5 grandkids.  My bio daughter recently informed us that she was pregnant so this will be my first official blood grandchild and I'm excited.  My mom has always wanted a natural great-grand and now she will finally have one.  My wife and I usually get my step-son's first child every other weekend for a few nights but that's all my wife wants to see her is every other weekend.  She knows how I am about my grands and would love to have them around all the time.  Last night she told me that she hopes I don't start just bringing my daughter's baby over all the time.  Last time I checked is that this is my house too and this is my grandchild.  If I want to bond with my  grandchild I'm not going to ask my wife's permission.  She knows me, I want to have her son's oldest daughter here with us all the time. There's something about having a baby in the house or a toddler running around thinking you hung the sun and the moon.  Do I need my wife's permission to bring my grandchild over for a visit or overnight?

    5 AnswersMarriage & Divorce2 months ago
  • Why do people act so rude when calling a business for help?

    I work for a medical company and we supply insulin free of charge to patient who can't afford it.  As we are all aware of there is a HIPAA regulation preventing us from speaking to anyone other than the patient about their account OR someone they have designated as a contact.  I just got a call from a girl who was calling about her boyfriend's account and when I told her I could not discuss his account with her she gave him the phone.  He apparently didn't  want to talk to me because he said that she handles all that stuff for him and gave the phone back to her.  She asked why we couldn't do a verbal authorization so that he gives permission to speak to her.  And when I informed her that we didn't take verbal authorization she got irate and said something to the extent of, "well thanks for nothing @$$ wipe" and hung up the phone.  Why do people feel the need to insult you when you're doing nothing more than trying to help them and then when you can't and explain why they want to curse you out?  I was speaking to the patient and he didn't want to talk to me but the person he wanted me to talk to we couldn't give any information to.  Do they not understand that it's a federal violation to give out any information about a patient's account?  So now this woman and patient, both got testy with me and they still didn't get their problem solved.  Help me understand that.

    3 AnswersLaw & Ethics2 months ago
  • Do you tell your spouse everything the minute you know it?

    My wife has this issue to where she feels that we should just always be in constant conversation and that I should just want to have "random" conversations with her.  My biological daughter is expecting her first child next year and we've been throwing names around.  In texting with my oldest adopted daughter yesterday she and I we talking about names.  This was early in the day yesterday.  After our conversation I went back to work and forgot about the conversation.  Later in the day my daughter stopped by and this was my conversation.  "Oh, me and (insert name) were texting today and she suggested these names."  My wife was standing there so my daughter and I talked for a few minutes then I went back to doing what I was doing.  About an hour or so later I sat down for dinner and my wife said, "It would really be nice if you would have those conversations with me like you do with your daughter."  I completely forgot want was going on so when she told me about the names I told her my mind was on other things and I forgot.  I didn't remember till my daughter walked in.  My wife thinks I should have had the conversation with her before my daughter came over.  That shows I care and want her to be a part of everything.  

    So this morning I had to run to the store to return an item I purchased then I stopped by McDonalds for some coffee before I headed home to work.  The minute I walked in to told her every thing that happened at the store and everything that happened

    5 AnswersMarriage & Divorce3 months ago
  • Contractor issue:  Is this too much?

    My / our father is 81 years old and barely gets around these days.  He is mobile with the aid of a walker but he's becoming a bit much for my mom to lift out of his chair and get him up and down the stairs for doctor's visits and things like that.  The 7 siblings have decided we need to put a ramp on the back door so he can now start using a wheelchair.  One of our cousins is a mason by trade and our oldest sister reached out to him to see what it would cost to build a ramp.  Assuming this would be a wooden ramp and not brick or concrete he came back with a quote of around $2300.00.  We've never had to quote this so I'm not sure if that's a fair price.  Looking online I've seen similar metal ramps for less than $1000.  It probably only needs to be about 20 feet or so, if that long.  For those with general contracting experience, or anyone who has ever had to build a handicap ramp, is $2300 reasonable?  Assuming we're probably getting the "family" discount too.  Help.  OR should we shop around for a few more estimates before we go with our cousin?

    21 AnswersMaintenance & Repairs3 months ago
  • Why does she always make things an issue?

    As usual, my wife finds a way to turn something completely innocent into a discussion that turns into an argument.  As we're all working from home a number of my co-workers have exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch since we don't see each other in the office.  Yesterday after I got off I was texting with a female co-worker and she informed me that we had to do mandatory OT on Sat for 8 hours.  I missed that email so I got up and went and turned back on my work computer to see the email.  When I came back into the living room I was still texting with my co-worker.  Then my wife made the comment of, "I think you need to chill with that before that becomes a problem, especially after last night."  The night before we were about to get intimate but things didn't go as planned and the event stopped.  She was a little upset about that.  I looked at her and said, "do you not text with any of your co-workers so how are you relating what happened last night to one of my co-workers texting about mandatory work on Sat?"  I had a lot of plans I was going to do Sat but now I have to cancel them.  My wife never really said how she related the two but that appeared to be her way of bringing up last night.  This girl is probably 20 years younger than me and recently hired with the company.  Her and several new employees reach out to me when they have questions about work and things like that.  

    2 AnswersMarriage & Divorce3 months ago
  • Is there such a thing as wanting to be too married?

    My wife is a member of some marriage club on Facebook and it seems that she lives for this group.  She likes every post and shares a lot of things to her married friends.  Today she posted a long post about the important things to do while you're married.  Just a few of the highlights.  1)  Talking openly about what you want to change in your relationship is important.  2)  Don’t force a resolution.  3)  When you get into a fight, don’t just say “I’m sorry”. Say what you are sorry for, and how you will react differently next time.  4)  Turn off the phones an hour before bedtime and just talk to each other.

    I find this list amusing because 1)  My wife never talks about what she wants to change about herself but what she expects me to change about me.  2)  When we argue she wants to argue until she gets her expected resolution.  3)  I can never just apologize to my wife.  She wants to know what I'm sorry for.  And 4) Not saying this is a bad thing but who turns off their phone an hour before bed and just talks?  Aren't you talking throughout the day?  

    My wife lives on Facebook and thinks that everything in this marriage club/group is the end all to sustaining a healthy relationship.  What she doesn't understand is that I like doing things apart from her.  I don't want to do everything with her.  Can you want to be too married or is she trying to put up this front like we have the perfect marriage?

    3 AnswersMarriage & Divorce3 months ago