• Parenting Question: Biological Children vs Step Children?

    My husband & I recently married & combined households, each bringing with us 3 kids. We each have primary physical custody & so have all 6 kids 5-7 days/week. My kids & I joined him & his kids in the home where they have lived for the past 3 years. This home is in a community where his family is deeply rooted & we have no roots. This has been a... show more
    My husband & I recently married & combined households, each bringing with us 3 kids. We each have primary physical custody & so have all 6 kids 5-7 days/week. My kids & I joined him & his kids in the home where they have lived for the past 3 years. This home is in a community where his family is deeply rooted & we have no roots. This has been a challenge for my kids & I. His oldest daughter, 12 years old & the oldest of our combined kids is very territorial & has made it clear that she is the real woman of the house. While I have been able to make my own space within the house - the master bedroom & bathroom (formerly hers), my kids have not. Both they & I feel like guests in our new home of 10 months. My husband's job takes him out of town Mon-Thurs of each week, leaving me to care for all 6 kids on a day-to-day basis. Caring for all the kids is not a big problem to me & I do my best to treat them all the same. Nevertheless, they have their spats which is to be expected. His oldest daughter still rules the roost, especially when I'm not looking, & his younger two go right along with her. This leaves my kids feeling unsafe & unwelcome. In my husband's absence, I have taken to allowing my kids to sleep with me. I believe this comforts & reassures them. He believes this relegates his kids to being "second class." I am not sure what to do. How can I provide comfort and reassurance to my kids without alienating his kids and inciting the wrath of his oldest daughter?
    5 answers · Parenting · 5 years ago
  • My stepchildren are not very athletic. My husband is growing resentment towards my children who are more athletic. Help!?

    My husband and I have four children between the ages of nine and seven, two boys and two girls. The girls are eight months apart and the boys are seven months apart in age. My biological children are taller and more muscular than his children. (This is probably due to his first wife being a very petite woman.) We have been signing our kids up for... show more
    My husband and I have four children between the ages of nine and seven, two boys and two girls. The girls are eight months apart and the boys are seven months apart in age. My biological children are taller and more muscular than his children. (This is probably due to his first wife being a very petite woman.) We have been signing our kids up for sports including baseball and basketball. While my kids do very well, his kids barely get any play time and are the worst players on the team. :( His daughter maintains a positive attitude about it all and never stops trying. :) His son, however, has a very poor attitude and mopes and complains about having to play. We are now looking at football for the boys and cheerleading for the girls. The problem is that his son is not very interested in football. He is small and lacks weight. When I approached my husband about signing up my son for football he became upset. He said that I was drawing lines between the kids. I disagreed. I said that his son has not enjoyed any of the sports we've put him in up to this point and has whined and complained at every practice and game. As for the girls, both want to participate in cheerleading which is great and I'd like to sign them both up. However, with his son not wanting to play football, he is discouraging me from signing up the rest of the kids from participating. I am not sure what to do. I recognize that his son, our son, does not want to play sports, nor is he very good. I am not sure
    4 answers · Parenting · 5 years ago
  • Is removing my stepdaughter's dog from the home too harsh?

    I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who LOVES her miniature pinscher. To her, the dog is not just human but superhuman. As much as she loves her dog, she does not take proper care of it. While the dog is bathed and groomed, it's the dog's messes that are not attended to: urine and feces are found daily, the dog gets into the trash and I am the... show more
    I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who LOVES her miniature pinscher. To her, the dog is not just human but superhuman. As much as she loves her dog, she does not take proper care of it. While the dog is bathed and groomed, it's the dog's messes that are not attended to: urine and feces are found daily, the dog gets into the trash and I am the one who has to do the clean up. The dog is supposed to be in her kennel during the day while we are gone but, oops, stepdaughter forgot and I get to walk into a house of overturned trash cans and pee and poop on the floor. For the past 6 months, her dad and I have strategized options, made deals w her, etc. but she is noncompliant. I have to be the enforcer because he works out of town during the week. I'm at my wit's end. The only solution I see is getting rid of the dog. My husband thinks I'm being overly hard on both my stepdaughter and the dog while, at the same time, disappointed that his daughter cannot be fully responsible for her dog. Help!
    9 answers · Dogs · 5 years ago
  • Is removing my stepdaughter's dog from our home too harsh?

    I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who LOVES her miniature pinscher. To her, the dog is not just human but superhuman. As much as she loves her dog, she does not take proper care of it. While the dog is bathed and groomed, it's the dog's messes that are not attended to: urine and feces are found daily, the dog gets into the trash and I am the... show more
    I have a 12 year old stepdaughter who LOVES her miniature pinscher. To her, the dog is not just human but superhuman. As much as she loves her dog, she does not take proper care of it. While the dog is bathed and groomed, it's the dog's messes that are not attended to: urine and feces are found daily, the dog gets into the trash and I am the one who has to do the clean up. The dog is supposed to be in her kennel during the day while we are gone but, oops, stepdaughter forgot and I get to walk into a house of overturned trash cans and pee and poop on the floor. For the past 6 months, her dad and I have strategized options, made deals w her, etc. but she is noncompliant. I have to be the enforcer because he works out of town during the week. I'm at my wit's end. The only solution I see is getting rid of the dog. My husband thinks I'm being overly hard on both my stepdaughter and the dog while, at the same time, disappointed that his daughter cannot be fully responsible for her dog. Help!
    2 answers · Other - Family & Relationships · 5 years ago
  • Is it rude to start to eat while the cook is still cooking?

    As I was preparing dinner, several family members served themselves some food I was still cooking and started to eat. The meal was to be ready in 15 minutes. Instead of finishing the meal, I stopped cooking/preparing dinner. I was offended. Why should I continue to cook the meal to completion if they were already digging in? Were their actions... show more
    As I was preparing dinner, several family members served themselves some food I was still cooking and started to eat. The meal was to be ready in 15 minutes. Instead of finishing the meal, I stopped cooking/preparing dinner. I was offended. Why should I continue to cook the meal to completion if they were already digging in? Were their actions really that rude or did I just overreact? 15 minutes, come on! They could wait! No? Your feedback is appreciated.
    8 answers · Etiquette · 5 years ago
  • Native Americans/American Indians: What do you think of Census 2010?

    I was thinking about how many Hispanic/Latino people are selecting/going to select American Indian as (at least one of) their race(s). This means our population is going to grow from 1% to who knows how much. In the process though, tribal members will be flooded by descendants and these newly defined people. The media isn't going to care... show more
    I was thinking about how many Hispanic/Latino people are selecting/going to select American Indian as (at least one of) their race(s). This means our population is going to grow from 1% to who knows how much. In the process though, tribal members will be flooded by descendants and these newly defined people. The media isn't going to care about the difference between tribal members and the others and, while the statistics are going to show extreme growth of our subgroup, it isn't going to be an accurate accounting of who WE really are. The detailed report will show the differences but not many people read those reports. Most people will just look at the quick stats and assume that now American Indians make up 25% or more (my guess) of the US population. What a mess! Your thoughts?
    12 answers · Other - Cultures & Groups · 9 years ago
  • Who/What are Chrisitians referring to when they say "The Lord"?

    God? Jesus? The Trinity? Someone/Something else? For example: I've given my life to The Lord. or The Lord blessed me. Who, exactly, is The Lord?
    God? Jesus? The Trinity? Someone/Something else? For example: I've given my life to The Lord. or The Lord blessed me. Who, exactly, is The Lord?
    14 answers · Religion & Spirituality · 10 years ago
  • What does "trippingly on the toungue" mean?

    Does it mean to enunciate (speak well) or to stumble over words?
    Does it mean to enunciate (speak well) or to stumble over words?
    2 answers · Words & Wordplay · 1 decade ago