How can I fix this bedroom experience?

Question

My husband is taking 50-60min+ to ejaculate during sex and over 30min for oral. He used to take about 30min for sex but over the past few months its gradually changed to how it is today. It's good sometimes but when I just want to have a quick orgasm before I go to bed and he keeps on going and going it's not as fun.

I also heard that masturbation can make one last longer and he does do that once or twice a week and we normally have sex about 5 times a week.

Anything I can do to help speed things along?

Real answers please, no trolls

Answer 1

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

He's masturbating once or twice a week PLUS having sex 5 times per week? That's a heavy load of intimacy right there!

Maybe he's taking a long time to climax because you're having sex very frequently. I know if I don't orgasm for a few days, the "O" I have is generally quicker and stronger if I've held off for a while. Maybe he's just all climaxed out and that's what's taking so long.

Try refraining from all sexual activity for two or three days and see if that helps. Otherwise, there are topical lubes and things you can buy that will rev his engines more. I agree - my face would be numb after 30 min of oral, and I would be seriously chafed after having an hour's worth of sex each day.

Also, be aware that there are ups and downs in any sexual relationship. It sounds silly, but this could be a phase he's going through where he just needs a libido boost. Perhaps he should also decrease any activities he's doing to increase his stamina.

Maybe you should also try communicating more to him. If you're just in the mood for a quickie, tell him that before bed. That way, he knows you're probably already revved yourself and need minimal foreplay.

Asker's Rating:

Asker's Comment:

Thank you

Answer 2

This can be a function of age, mental health or medication. Or a cocktail of all three.

Antidepressants such as Paxil, Prozac, or Celexa can cause this.

Alcohol, nicotine, and cannabis can also cause this. It's best to hold off on these until you've both gotten back into the groove.

The best way to help is to talk to him, with patience, kindness and understanding. Let him know that it's just taking too long. Ask him if there's anything he needs you to do.

Source(s):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antidepress…

Answer 3

simple ..tell him to stop masturbating for a while ...to allow time to sperm to rebuilt...gosh you guys are lucky to have sex 5 times a week.....also ask him if he would just stop once in a while after you had an orgasm....men dont need to ejaculate every time ..especialy so often..........just a thought..keep up the good work

Answer 4

Get rid of his Mistress for starters him doing her then coming home and doing you it's only natural he last longer

Answer 5

try spicing things up, use a bit more foreplay and try teasing him first. and be glad mine takes 5 mins everytime and never get near an orgasm

Answer 6

He needs to stop spanking the monkey.

Answer 7

tell him to stop taking viagra without telling you.

Answer 8

I would say...change things up to the point that he gets so excited that he will c*m when you want him too......

Answer 9

Damn... grass is always greener on the other side, huh? Consider yourself lucky.

Answer 10

idk...maybe youre not hot enough so it takes him a really long time.